Wednesday, January 31

Remember shooting shit down the old alleyways. Talking tragedy and music like old Holiday.

Some of my fingers are green and they smell a little funny.
No, I haven't been fingering Kermit The Frog, apparently it's something that can happen when handling lots of copper and using flux.

It will be the latex gloves for me then.
In fact, they could come in handy!
Nudge nudge, wink wink...oh forget it!

There's 9 other guys on my training course. I've only really spoken to 2 of them, the rest seem to want to keep themselves to themselves. They just don't seem to very talkative....or forthcoming.

I got an ansafone message from the guy from the money place. He assured me that everything was progressing on and he's sorry for the misunderstanding from their staff yesterday. Oh and should I have anymore enquiries about my application, then I should phone him on his direct number. That would be the same direct number I already have for him. The same direct number that goes onto his voicemail instantly, even when he says in the greeting message that he's working those hours. Twat!
Yes, I have an enquiry about my application....what the fucks gone wrong with it?!

If I could just get this big fuck off issue of money sorted out then I'd be sleeping a lot better at night.

Tuesday, January 30

Get lost, we gettin' lots o' rocks. While bitches Botox, I blow cocks.

Thoughts from the bath....

I don't have to have a shave tonight. Unlike any previous job I've had, I've always had to be presentably clean shaven. No more! This might not sound like a big deal to anybody else, but after years of having to be like that, coupled with having to wear suits, to me it's a big deal.

Dicks kinda float in the water.

I made a wise choice changing the boneshakers. This other car seems to be holding up very well. I'm currently toying with the idea of giving it a good run and risking the journey up to see The Girl at the weekend.
*Thought pending*

Oh fuck, Valentines day is coming up. Not being single anymore makes this complicated. I've been used to ignoring the day on the grounds of it being a day of crapness. A day where emotions range anywhere from disappointment, bitterness, jealousy, love, elation, expectation, disillusionment, sadness, happiness, hate and pretty much any other emotion connected with relationships is celebrated, just makes no sense to me whatsoever.

Oh fuck, Valentines day is coming up. Yes, it crossed my mind again.

Long bath, huh?

Today, I listened to one of the other guys on the training course with me. He used to be a Police Officer. Did it for 4 years and decided he just wasn't cut out for it. He went on to say that he'd hated it ever since his first 'bad' call out, about 12 months after he joined them.
The call out was to a house that needed to be broken into. There were reports of nobody seeing the guy who lived there and after other attempts to communicate with him, the next step was to break into his house. They put the front door through and were immediately immersed in a wretched stench. Upstairs in one of the bedrooms, he'd commited suicide. He didn't say how long the guy had been dead, but not only was the body decomposing, but the guy's dog had run out of food and been chewing at his flesh to get a meal.
I thought things like that only happen in the movies. What a horrible story. I can't even begin to imagine being witness to something like that.

Still no news from the money people. I phoned them tonight when I got back only to be told something I'd heard like 4 weeks ago. She was very unhelpful and I came off the phone pissed off. Possibly not a good time to leave a voicemail for the guy who's supposed to be co-ordinating it all, huh?
It kinda went...."Yes, this is Mr bedshaped, telephone contact number blah blah blah, I really want a call back from you tomorrow morning please. I have realised I am getting nowhere fast with this loan from your company and am now looking to borrow the money elsewhere. I am really pissed off with the way I have been dealt with and am convinced you run a company policy that nobody in the building is allowed to communicate with anybody else. Please call me before midday and please leave an ansafone message with your direct number, a number that you will actually pick up. Thanks....bye x"

Exciting, isn't it?

Monday, January 29

I could be brown, I cloud be blue, I could be violet sky. I could be hurtful, I could be purple, I could be anything you like.

The beginning of a new week.
The beginning of a new direction on my journey.

Towards the end of December, I decided to give up my job in sales and take the plunge to train in a completely different area of work. At the end of this 6 week intensive course, I should have enough qualifications and technical know-how to begin to set up working for myself.
Get me eh?!

I was on day one today.
They said it was an intense course, but I don't think I quite understood just how intense.
6 weeks of fucking hard work ahead.

The Brit Music Awards are coming up. Please step over to thread about the brits over at theauditorium. It's fun, join in. Don't make me beg, it gets ugly.

Sunday, January 28

I can't undo the day. It won't go under the rug.

Well, today has ended up being a crap day.
Sometimes we just have to suffer really crap days, don't we?

Early afternoon, I had to wave goodbye to The Girl, who'd come down to see me last night. For the next 2 hours, I worried about her getting back safely. This was followed by a further 2 hours at my parents house trying to convince them to lend me just over 4 grand. It appears that me watching all those Derren Brown programmes have paid off and by the power of persuasion (ok, there was quite a lot of begging too), they gave me the money.
This is an absolute life saver and I couldn't thank them enough. I must admit, I wanted to do this all on my own, but the sheer bnattle it's been so far, I had to give in to temporary defeat.

On Saturday, I waved bye bye to Boneshaker, my totally unreliable car. The fond memories (if there even were any) soon drifted away as I was driving away in a different car. This other car has 50,000 less miles but is 2 years older.
I cannot even begin to express my relief at actually having something that might be reliable enough to last the next 6 weeks.

I start a training course tomorrow....for the next 6 weeks.

Today has been a crap day.
After if having to say goodbye to The Girl isn't bad enough, I then had to beg my parents for some money.
I hope I know what I'm doing.

After a few frustrated evenings with yousendit, the songs in the jukebox are live again. Just on the right sidebar. Enjoy....The DJ Shadow song is particularly lovely.

Wednesday, January 24

What it all comes down to, is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet. 'Cos I've got one hand in my pocket ....

It almost snowed today.
I could see it really wanted to, but something stood in its way.
I love the snow!

I've been working with my ex-boss and friend, Bling for the past two days.
We've done impressions of Frank Spencer, Laurel and Hardy and Lee Evans. We've reminisced about Scalextrix, Swap Shop and Sega Master System.

I've had a great time.
Back to the shit tomorrow.
Good job I'm having a smoke tonight.

If you like music then I've done a post over at theauditorum blog about The Brits awards coming up. Please feel free to take a look and join in on the game.

....And the other one is giving a peace sign.

Monday, January 22

Sit tight, I'm gonna need you to keep time. Come on just snap, snap, snap your fingers for me.

I've not been very lucky of late.
I strive to be the sort of person who believes in good karma. Do something good and good things will come back round full circle, right? Do a good deed, do something that makes a difference or even just keep your nose clean and eventually good things will happen to you, right?
Even Justin Timberlake says "What goes around, comes back around". Although he may not have meant it in the positive way that I interpreted it.

With my boneshaker of a car not being very road-worthy (and I use the term very loosely), the issue of travelling to 90 odd miles to see The Girl presents something of a problem nowadays. Not being the sort of person to see this an a big issue, I decided to put public transport to the test.
After some conversations with The Girl, the plan was in place. I would risk the boneshaker to get me to the local train station, take the train into the City Centre where I would walk to the large bus/coach station, get a coach to take me the majority of the way courtesy of a very cheap ticket puchased online and The Girl would be able to pick me up at her end.
It all seemed so simple.

I left here a little earlier than I could have done, purely because I didn't know the way to the bus/coach station from the City Centre train station and wanted to make sure I had enough time to find the place. The boneshaker got me to the local train station (just about), where I parked up and proceeded to the ticket office. Except there wasn't one! In it's place was an automated machine, fine under normal circumstances, but this machine had no indication of price or destinations. On top of not knowing how much to pay or which platform to stand on, I fumbled around in my pocket to find nothing but coppers. I had money, but only notes. The automated machine, whilst not stating any prices or destinations, quite clearly stated no notes, exact change only. Off down the road I toddled, to a nearby newsagents to break the note into some suitable change. No problem I thought, I could get some chewing gum for the journey. I came out with mints!
Back at the train station I fed the machine with an approximation of journey cost. I walked up the steps and duly watched a train (which I now realised was the one I wanted to catch) pull off. So I waited....and waited....and waited. Earlier on, I had checked the local train times and read that they left every 20 minutes so I didn't think it was such a big deal as I'd left extra early and still had plenty of time. After all, the important part of the journey was to catch the coach because I had a specific ticket, for a specific coach, at a specific time. 40 odd minutes later the next train arrived.
At the City Centre train station, I was refused exit because my 'ticket' wasn't actually a ticket. It was just a receipt for a payment made via an automated machine and was duly pointed by the guy on the exit turnstile to exchange it for a valid ticket. He motioned to a couple of ladies sat beside the Information kiosk, so off I went to join the queue to get a 'valid ticket', behind about 30 other people. 25 minutes later, I was the proud owner of a valid ticket for all of about 30 seconds because the guy on the exit turnstile glanced over it, mumbled something, took it off me and ushered me through.
Oh well.
Next up was to find the bus/coach station. I had asked the lady at the ticket exchange only to be told she didn't know and she suggested I should ask the guy on the exit turnstile. I didn't have time to ask him because of the other 284 people behind me waiting to get out....with their valid tickets.
I saw a 'Local Information Shop' and thought my prayers were answered. More queueing and more waiting. At the window, I asked the guy where the bus/coach station was. His first suggestion of waiting for a free pick up shuttle service bus was no good considering by this time, time was against me. I had 30 minutes to find it and the shuttle bus ran every 40 minutes. He then very kindly started to explain how to get there by foot. I was trying to listen to him but my eyes were drawn to the map he was pointing at with his pen. By the time he'd finished explaining, I realised all I'd gained from him was, "Walk out of the station and turn left...." because I was concentrating on his pen over the map. I smiled...."Can I have that map please....?" He told me they were normally a pound. I smiled again....He handed it over.
With map in hand and trying my best not to look like a tourist, I exited the train station and duly turned left. A few steps later and I was already lost. He said something about a spiral staircase. Is that a spiral staircase? I continued on and found myself by an open market, by this time most of the market stalls were packing up from the days' trade. I saw a sign for the bus/coach station. Result! I followed it's direction and after about 200 yards I saw another sign pointing in the direction I'd just walked from!
Clearly I'd reached one of those times in my life where I needed to swallow my man pride and ask somebody for directions (again). I asked a market stall guy, who told me to follow the road down, cross over the road where the traffic lights didn't work anymore, pass by the burnt out pub and keep going about half a mile and it would be on my left.
It was on the right!

At the bus/coach station, I sent a text to The Girl to tell her I was there and just waiting for the coach. Ok, so it hadn't been plain sailing so far but at least I was at the station and all I had to do was find the right coach. The coach pulled up, the driver checked my ticket and I got on.
There was about 30 people on the coach, so lots of empty seats. The coach pulled out, I took out my book and began to read. Opposite me sat a lady who spent the first hour of the journey picking at her chicken in box. It was like a KFC box of chicken except it wasn't KFC, it was a cheap version and stunk like something you'd have thrown away 4 days ago. She didn't just eat it either, she picked strips off it....for an hour! It stunk!
The coach journey time was stated as just over 3 hours. 2 hours into the journey, the coach pulled over on the side of the road and the driver walked down the aisle in between the seats demanding to know who was smoking. There was a smell that's for sure, but it wasn't a cigarette smell. When I first smelt it, I thought it might be the chicken lady having another stab at her food again. The driver didn't seem too happy and was adamant that somebody had been smoking. Nobody admitted to it and he went back to his seat with a huff.
Another few miles down the road and we were due to make a scheduled stop anyway. We pulled into the bus station and the driver let himself out. He disappeared around the back of the coach for a few minutes before letting himself back onto the front of the coach.
He announced...."We've broken down"
Something about some belts that had shredded in the engine and were pumping fumed back into the coach, hence the smell.
I got off the coach and lit up a cigarette outside while I phoned The Girl.
It should have been another hour to complete the journey. The driver told us that the next coach due into that particular station would arrive in an hour (if it was on time).
So we waited....and waited....and waited....
About 45 minutes later, a mini bus turned up and took 9 passengers off to one of the other destinations that the coach was originally intending to do a drop off at.
15 minutes later another one turned up. I got on that on.

The driver looked like an escaped convict, confirmed by his 'authorised mini bus driver' badge displaying his mug-shot. Either the driver had a phobia changing over 3rd gear or he secretly knew attempting a high speed gear change would result in some kind of explosion. What followed was an hour of engine scream, although that was only just audible over the 1950's radio station he decided we all must have liked.
As if the rest of the day hadn't been challenging enough, and no amount of internal praying on my behalf was paying off, chicken lady sat right next to me on the mini bus. Luckily for me, the smell of the stinky chicken had slightly worn off. Unluckily for me, it had been over-powered by her B.O. Add to that the fact that she had her I-Pod blasting through some ill-fitting earphones and liked to join in with a wailing sound, not unlike a banshee and it made for an uncomfortable 60 odd minute journey.
We arrived in the City almost 90 minutes after our original quoted time. The convict driver was clearly confused by his satellite navigation and after the voice told him for the 3rd time, "Turn Around, Turn Around", he pulled over and told us all to get out.

Stranded on an unfamiliar street, I called The Girl who came to my rescue.
Aah, bless!

I had a great weekend.
What about you?

Thursday, January 18

Excuse me but can I be you for a while. My dog wont bite if you sit real still. I got the Anti-Christ in the kitchen, yellin' at me again.

I feel sad that I've almost finished my book.

The last few days have seen me toiling with emotions.
Juggling with telephone conversations.
Struggling with a lump of metal that's trying to pass itself off as a car.
Attempting to make peace with the people who are demanding money.
Being on the verge of tears.

More than once, I've almost convinced myself that this is too hard and I should take the easy way out. But somehow I've resisted. Unsure if it's stubborness, principle or a desire to beat the system.
I'm not ready to throw my cards on the table just yet.
Surely the hand I hold is good enough to win.

In certain parts of my life, I fight with myself to not be a conformist. I am not a sheep that follows the lead of others and am quite proud of the black colour my family have painted me with.

Monday, January 15

Everytime I look into your eyes, you make me love you.

I had to call in a few favours this weekend.
It's evident how desperate parts of my life have become recently, for me to have to call in so many in such a short space of time.
I can only hope that I have some more up my sleeve, should such a disastrous time rear it's ugly head again.

The Girl is wonderfully understanding and immensely patient. I can't help but wonder how much longer her fuse is. My moodswing feebleness reared it's ugly head right in front of her eyes and I felt powerless to do anything about it.
There was a conversation in the car on the way back, where she commented on how well she thought I was dealing with everything.
"I look like I'm coping on the outside, but inside I'm crumbling away"
I wonder if she heard that the way I intended it.

I'm no further forward with anything than I was this time last week. Two weeks ago even. If anything, I feel like I've been taking steps backwards. Time is running out and I really need to make some headway this week.

I'm ok though, thanks for mentally asking.

Thursday, January 11

And If you think that I've been losing my way. That's because I'm slightly blinded.

I am unstable.
My moodswings are reaching Def Con 1 and show no signs of letting up.

I thought I'd be constantly watching Celebrity Big Brother on the live feeds, but I've prefered to read or watch movies.
I've seen Rocky Balboa, which was ok. Ultravoilet, which was awful. White Noise, which didn't really do what it set out to do. Pan's Labyrinth, which was just brilliant. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind really moved me and I loved it.
I've finished reading the Dan Price book and am currently a quarter of the way through Mr Nice, an autobiography about Howard Marks.

The banging my head up against a brick wall Money people are still digging their heels in. A telephone conversation today resulted in me knowing nothing new. In fact some of what they said to me sounded like I had gone back a few steps.
When will all this money bollocks end?!

It's proving very difficult to get motivated with so much on my mind. I'm becoming lethargic and loathsome.
I don't like how I am portraying myself, but I don't want to hide how I'm feeling.

If you think that I don't make too much sense
That's because I'm broken minded.

Wednesday, January 10

I just don't know what to do with myself. I don't know what to do with myself.

I feel like a dog with 2 dicks.

Spare....excess to requirements....more than required....

Earlier I phoned the money people to confirm things, only to be told the same as I was last week.
What planet are they on? It can't possibly be the same as I'm on!
Once again, I'm told that the problem lies within Department Two not telling Department One that the amount has changed. How difficult could that be?!

Today has been completely shit for me.
I'm now reaching the point where I wonder if all this was worth while. If any of this crap was worth it?

Monday, January 8

This town ain't big enough for both of us. And it ain't me who's gonna leave.

What can't people do what they're supposed to do?

Sometime early December:
bedshaped, "Yeah, hi. I'm just checking to see how my application is doing, for the extra money?"
Department One, "Right, let me see for you. Oh yes, it's all looking fine. You're known as Low Risk so everything that end is sorted out. Next you will get your confirmation Documents sent out, just return them and then we can release the funds to you"
bedshaped, "Great, thanks a lot"

Mid December:
bedshaped, "Hi, I haven't received my Doc's to sign."
Department One, "Hmmmm, let me transfer you to Department Two because the loan amount we have differs to what you're telling me. Maybe they can help."
Department Two, "Hi, how can I help?"
bedshaped, "Well, I've been transfered to you because Department One can't proceed any further without confirmation from you that the loan amount was changed."
Department Two, "Right. I will send them a message saying that's fine."
bedshaped, "Thanks. How much longer now?"
Department Two, "Oh, not long, They will send you the Doc's to sign and return, then they release the funds."
bedshaped, "Cool"

End of December:
bedshaped, "Hi, I still haven't received my Doc's to sign."
Department One, "We have a difference in the loan amount. Have you reduced it?
bedshaped, "Yes, ages ago and Department Two have confirmed this with you."
Department One, "No I'm sorry, they haven't. We need that next to proceed. Let me transfer you to speak to them"
Department Two, "Hi, how can I help?"
bedshaped, "Department One say they STILL haven't received anything from you confirming change of loan amount."
Department Two, "Oh right, let's see. Oh we need something else off you yet. A letter stating blah blah blah."
bedshaped, "A letter, right? I can do that now and send it today. Then what?"
Department Two, "Then we can confirm amount chaange with Department One and they can send you the Doc's to sign and return then release the funds."

The letter goes off the same day.

Beginning of January:
bedshaped, "Hi, what's going on? I've heard NOTHING"
Department One, "Department Two need to confirm the loan amount changing, then we can proceed. Let me transfer you to them to find out why they haven't done it"
Department Two, "Hi, how can I help?
bedshaped, "What the fu...Hi, can you tell me what's happening?"
Department Two, "Yes, Department One need confirmation from us that the loan amount is changed."
bedshaped, "Ok, so why hasn't that been done, for the last 3 weeks?"
Department Two, "I can't say. What needs to happen now is we need to cinfirm the amount of loan to them. This will be done by your original agent who you spoke to."
bedshaped, "Look, I've never even spoken to him since day one back in November. Everything has been messed up as far as I'm concerned. It's been going on since blah blah blah. You told me in December blah blah blah. I've been passed from one department to another, both of whom seem incapable of holding a conversation with each other. Blah Blah Blah."

The guy on the end of the phone then told me he'd done it. He'd sent Department One the information. 15 minutes later, I called Department One to confirm this and they said yes.
The next 48 hours are gonna drag like a bitch.

Be thankful, this is a very condensed and edited version of my relationship with the money people.

Friday, January 5

Can you hear me you peers and privy councillors, I stand before you naked to the eyes.

A quote from a book by a guy called Dan Price:

"Some of us are born with unrealizable and unattainable dreams. They push and pull our beings through life like a pack of wild dogs on the end of a hundred straining leashes. But just coming to realize that some of those dreams could be a reality can be the first big step in a persons coming of age."

He goes on to say that many or most of our family and friends will contend that the safest course lies with the herd. "Security" is coveted like an Olympic flame and carried aloft for all to see.

This guy lived his dreams just by believing in himself. What he's achieved is nothing short of amazing and he scoffs at the people who pointed at him like the town idiot.
I'm not in any way going to be following in his footsteps, but the entire message of the book just sung out to me from the pages, rising chorus after chorus of just believing in yourself. Who would have thought that just believing in yourself could make such a difference to people. And he's right. A little positivity goes a long, long way.

A little more upbeat from me tonight. Strange, considering this morning I opened an envelope with a court summons in it.

Quick recap:
No job
No money
Nothing set in stone for another job yet
Unreliable bone shaker (car)
Money people still dragging their feet
Endless bills
Court summons

Still the best move I could have ever made though.

Thursday, January 4

There's no excuses my friend, let's push things forward.'s a funny old game.

The other day I spoke to my ex wife, telling her about my current circumstances and my outlook and she managed to twist the whole thing around. When I spoke about myself, I tried to put it across as such a positive move for me, but she shot me down in flames and I left feeling like the most selfish person on the planet.
What I saw as being the best move forward for me got turned into the worst move for her.

Tonight I spoken to Bling. My old Boss who now does what I'm hoping to get into. He's done nothing but pelt me with positive thoughts about the whole thing. He's so upbeat about it and keep saying that all this crap will soon pass.

Amazing how the same subject of conversation can be interpretted so differently by different people.

Today hasn't been great but it's been a hell of a lot better than yesterday. I won a fight with my bank, had some semi positive news from the money people and spoke to my old Boss about changing the car that I've just bought off them. It's all looks and no functions unfortunately.
I've just sent a huge email to my brother. For some reason, I felt like I needed to 'talk' to him.

Part of the email:
"But I'm ok though. I thought I'd email you guys to let you know that I'm ok, despite things not looking so rosy at the moment. I've been through worse shit than this, I'm sure things will work themselves out.
So yeah. I'm unemployed, kinda skint, unreliable wheels and unable to put anything into place until i get the money from the loan, but it doesn't stop me thinking it's the best move I could have made.

I'm planning to clean the house from top to bottom tomorrow.
That's how interesting my life is nowadays.

Wednesday, January 3

Everything's so blurry and everyone's so fake and everybody's empty and everything is so messed up.

The return of Celebrity Big Brother.

So in the house, we have:

Jermaine Jackson - wtf!
Danielle Lloyd - A Celebrity? Former Miss UK, controversially lost the crown soon after and now dating a footballer.
Ken Russell - Controversial British film director who looks about 104. Surely the insurance bill for Channel 4 to have him on there must have been astronomical.
Jo Omeara - Former S Club 7 singer, now apparently a dog breeder.
Leo Sayer - Easy Listening singer from yonks ago. Rates himself as 'a funny guy'.
Shilpa Shetty - Bollywood actress. Does she have any idea how damaging to a career this program can be?
Carole Malone - Columnist for Paparazzi, serial moaner and critic about absolutely everone and everything.
Donny Tourette - Lead singer with band Towers Of London. Rock star wannabe and complusive twat.
Ian 'H' Watkins - Former member of huge band Steps who earlier today admitted he was gay. Media seeker anybody?
Cleo Roccos - Comedy actress almost exclusivelly known for working with Kenny Everett in the 80's. Looks a million times better now than she ever did back then.
Dirk Benedict - Actor from Battlestar Galactica and the face of....well, Face from The A Team.
Typical cigar chomping AK-TOR.

Apparently Jade from a previous Big Brother, who has consequently become somewhat of a celebrity is going in on Friday. Well, that's if the rumours are true.

25 days of compulsive viewing.

This is a crap post but it's the best I can muster with how shit I'm feeling.

Tuesday, January 2

I am a little bit insecure, a little unconfident. 'Cos you don't understand, I do what I can, but sometimes I dont make sense.

Not much has happened today.

I went into (ex) work earlier, to give them my car back and sort out the paperwork for the boneshaker I've just bought.
True to it's word, it shakes. It shakes like it's done 100,000 miles, when in fact it's done 126,000! get's me from one place to another and has the bonus of a cd player. Things ain't so bad.
Another guy has left since I've left, so the Sales team are really struggling now with just 4 people left. I watched them today, with stressed looks on their faces....I spoke with my (ex) Boss, Third Time Lucky and he asked me if I would considering going back there....
Within 5 minutes of entering the place, I realised I'd definately done the right thing.

I've had an ansafone message left tonight from the money people. After 2 conversations with them previously, being told that everything had gone through and they were just waiting for one piece of information being faxed over from some other department, they are now asking me for all sorts of additional information.
This is not good.
Hopefully, tomorrow I will be able to moan at them a little and ask in a polite way just what the fuck is going on and somehow make them 'forget' that they asked me for anything else. Surely they can't tell me everything has gone through and is fine and then tell me that they need additional information to complete it! That just seems so very wrong to me.
I'd kinda counted on all this being sorted and the last stage being kinda formalities.
Fuck fuck fuck. This is not good!

Well if anything, 2007 is already shaping up to be a trying year. A lot could happen this year, if only I could get my arse into gear.

Monday, January 1

So close not matter how far. Couldn't be much more from the heart. Forever trusting who we are, 'cos nothing else matters.

This year, I wanted to enjoy Christmas and the New Year the way I imagine most people do.
Having a decent break from work, enjoying time with the ones they love and not worrying about having to cut it all short.
For the last unfathomable number of years, I've usually had 2 days off for Christmas, worked in between then and New Year and felt like it wasn't a break at all. This year was different. Completely different. This year I wanted to enjoy my break the way I always imagined it should be like.
It completely surpassed my expectations.

That's how I want every Christmas break to be like.

The beginning of a new year....
I have no job, so no income.
I'm still waiting to hear about that extra money I need.
As of tomorrow, I will be without my 6 month old Ford Focus and instead will be commuting in an old Ford Escort.
Things could be better, but I'm having the time of my life.

I have no idea how to describe how I felt when The Girl played this for me....

The best Christmas present I've ever had.