Wednesday, December 20

Well these are strange days. We're living in today. C'est la vie I say.

I have no idea what the next few weeks will bring.

Things are still up in the air for the most part, but one thing I do know for sure....Tomorrow is my last day at work.
No more wearing suits. No more shirt and tie. No more siny shoes.
No more nice company car either, but was a perk of the job.

The one thing I'm ready for is finishing work. Everything else is still very unsure, but that said, I don't have one regret at all about leaving that place. I might be unsure about a lot of things in my life, but resigning from there was the best thing I could have done.

Being technically unemployed now means I can enjoy the Christmas break the way it should be enjoyed. I'm gonna be spending time with my friends, my family and The Girl.
Who could ask for more.

I realise how lucky I am at this time of year. Putting all the niggly crap behind, I always find myself remembering that there are many people out there in unfortunate positions. People out there who have nothing.
As usual, I shall be raising my glass to those people, to wish them good health and good luck.

Did you know that if all the Countries stopped buying arms and spending money on developing nuclear weapons, we could feed the hungry and give the right medice to every single person in this world.

Happy Christmas x

Monday, December 18

So I sing a song to reel them in. It's a song I've sung before and a song I'm gonna sing again.

So, is it considered wrong if somebody was to go down on a girl, with chewing gum in their mouth.
Hypothically speaking or course.

Well, it was either that or a long post about how crap I'm feeling at the moment.

Tuesday, December 12

Feel the heat pushing you to decide. Feel the heat burning you up, ready or not.

My secret mission is over.

The second day of training for me in the guise of my Boss, Third Time Lucky went pretty well. One of the trainers has already given me a knowing nod and a wink when I'm saying stuff. He knows I've done the course before. I don't think he quite realises that I'm there pretending to be somebody else. Although as an amusing parting thought, the other trainer stood at the door as we all left. As I was walking past him, he remarked that he looks forward to seeing me again because he will be "in our neck of the woods" in two weeks time.
I hope he thinks I'm Third Time Lucky. How great would it be to be a fly on the wall when he actually meets the proper one.

This afternoon there was actual contact between myself and my Mortgage Company. Whilst I was kind of expecting a swift and polite "fuck off", the guy looked at my application and said he could see no problems with it and it should all go through over the next few days. Unless....unless I get a phone call in the meantime telling me there's a problem.
What kind of answer is that? I wanted a simple yes or no, but no. Too much for them to be so plain and simple. It's more of a 'build your hopes right up, but then kinda dangle a razor sharp knife over your head, held on by a tiny thread....that's chaffing' kind of answer.
I couldn't help but look on the positive side of things though. After all, he'd pretty much confirmed everything was ok.
Back into the training session I went, with....and I can't help but say it....a smile on my face. For the simple reason that I would never have to endure any more of this Company crap anymore. Every now and then I would glance around and wave them all goodbye with my imaginary hand.

Unfortunately, when we took an afternoon break I checked my mobile. 2 missed calls, 2 ansafone messages all within 15 minutes of me last talking with my Mortgage Company. The internal beam didn't last very long, as the ansafone messages were delivering news of doom. They wont lend me all that I need, only 3/4 of it.

This isn't enough.
This just isn't gonna be enough.

The whole plan has been put in jeapardy, all because some twat didn't think my house was worth a measly 2 1/2 grand more.

Tonight, I've spent the best part of 3 hours adding things up, taking things away, forcasting, budgeting, streamlining, compensating, pre planning, worrying, panicking, breaking into a sweat, turning pale....
And my conclusion....?

I'm stoned.
But from where I'm sitting, in the words of Gene Wilder in Young Frankenstein....


Todays episode of someguyonajourney was brought to you by the word "stoned", so don't do it kids.
Especially not with potential life changing decisions!

Monday, December 11

You're answering questions that have not yet been asked . All sparks will burn out in the end .

Day one in disguise is over.

And so endeth the first of two training days, with me in the guise of my Boss 'Third Time Lucky'.
It appears that I've already done this course, with the same two trainers too, so I'm kinda popular at the moment 'cos I know most of the answers. They all probably think I'm a bit of a swot, but hey, shame for Third Time Lucky, huh.
Luckily we haven't had to listen to typical trainer speak, "Lets try to think outside of the box", "It's not a problem, it's an opportunity" or "Now we're not here to teach anybody to suck eggs".

There's about 30 of us on the course. I'm sat inbetween a guy who has no idea how bad his BO is and a guy who's been in this industry for 35 years. I've only done 3 and a half and already I have itchy feet. I don't know how somebody could endure that sort of time in this job, I really don't. He actually looked like he'd done 35 years in prison for something.

I'm still no wiser on if I'm gonna get this extra money I need. The silly buggers left an ansaphone message on my Mum's phone, so I didn't get it until a few days later. Since then I've left 2 messages for the woman to call me back because everytime I ring, she's unavailable. Needless to say, we've still not made 'contact'.

I just don't get it.
Everywhere we turn, it's money money money. TV adverts offering loans and mortgage extensions left right and centre. Promotional material sent through the post, magazine adverts and people who call you up to offer you loans. And people say the banks and building society's are gasping to throw people money.

Show me the money

To say I'm frustrated with it all is one thing, but all this delay and messing about on their part has all but convinced me that their decision is already "No".
I can't help being a pessimist. I think it runs in my genes.

Last night I dreamt that The Girl split up with me.
I can only remember some parts, but I can remember she used the excuse that it was because I didn't like the Top Gun soundtrack. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but she completely went off on one about it.
I found out the real reason. One of the little people told me that she'd gone back to her ex boyfriend because he had a job and money. I presumsed that to also mean he had something to offer.
I remembering ringing my brother up to tell him and I was actually ashamed to tell him about my circumstances, so gave him the Top Gun excuse instead.

Dreams are so weird aren't they? What the hell am I supposed to read into that?

Sunday, December 10

Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head.

Another weekend almost over.

Old Father Time is a funny old bugger.
The days when you'd quite like to relax and enjoy, whizz by so quickly. The days that you'd rather see the back of sooner rather than later, seem to linger on through every....tedious.... minute. The time that fills the gap between you and your loved ones being together, gives the impression of being played in slow motion. Conversly, the time you spend being yourself with the people who allow this pleasure, swifty become memories over your shoulder.

My mum is out of the hospital already. The last time I saw her, she was pale, slow moving, in considerable pain and throwing up all over the place. When I saw her earlier, she was settling into the comforts of 'her chair' in their house, waddling around at a medium pace, has some colour back in her cheeks and there wasn't a projectile motion in sight.
All good then.
She's out, she's doing a lot better and in all the scheme of things (with all my own personal crap to deal with) she's made me realise (once again) that so long as your friends and loved ones are healthy, then everything else is just....'stuff'.

In 10 days, technically I will be unemployed. Not only that, but the way things are headed I'm probably gonna be disastrously broke as well. I can only hope that The Girl will be happy with an apple and a lump of wood as a Christmas present.

Blogger appears to be insisting I switch over to beta. Everytime I login, I'm now greeted with half a screen inviting me to 'make the change'. This must be what The Girl was going on about. First the insisting, then the 'auto switching'.
Oh dear.
Since updating my Firefox browser, my spell checker doedn't work. Anybody know why?

What I'm listening to right now, as I hit post:
Jennifer Lopez "I'm gonna be alright".
It's a remix y'all.

Saturday, December 9

Take a look at what I took. A Leaf out of everybody else's book.

She's a fighter, my mum.

Seeing her throw up on Thursday night probably wasn't the best thing for me to witness.
Everybody thinks she's gonna be just fine.

The people who make the decisions about the money I need, appear to be thick.
It worries me that crucial decision makers in my life appear dumber than me.

I know that things are gonna be alright. I feel it.
But I also know that's the 'bedshaped a la stoned' talking.

As I slept last night....

Christmas evening.
The Girl's house, with her and I, her Mum, her brother and some little people.
She announced a 'special present' for me.
And with that,
she strolled over to the wall
to turn the lights down low.
Then continued until she was sat at her piano.
And she played.

I don't care what happens....This is gonna be the best Christmas I've had for a very long time.

Tuesday, December 5

If you're sick of evil knocking at your door. Throw up the love sign once and for ever more.

She knows
She would know
She feels
I hope.

My mum was due to go into hospital tomorrow for an operation.
Earlier tonight, they phoned to ask her to go in tonight. They have a bed available and want her in as soon as possible. She's penciled in for the op tomorrow morning and (so we've been told) should expect to stay in for the next five days on recovery.
People are saying it's a routine operation and it's all precautionary, but five days seems a little extreme for 'a routine operation'. Then again, I'm no doctor.

My boss, Third Time Lucky, asked me into his office earlier today. I thought this might be the "Please don't leave. What can we do to make you stay" talk, but alas it wasn't. As a Main Dealer, we are governed by our Parent Company to have staff attend a certain amount of training courses throughout the year to keep in line with what they call "Dealer Standards". Failure to comply means a hefty fine for The Company, in some cases running into thousands of pounds.
Third Time Lucky is due to attend a course on Monday and Tuesday of next week to comply with said standards and has been told that failure with result in a fine to our Dealership of £80,000.
This conversation was to tell me that his boss, JB, is out of the country from the end of this week until Wednesday of next week, therefore making it almost impossible for him to attend. Apparently our Parent Company wont take "I can't attend" for an excuse, so he's asked me to go in his place. Not as me, but as him.
Yes. I'm to attend a training course in the guise of Third Time Lucky to get him out of the shit and ultimately to save The Dealership an £80,000 fine.
He's promised to 'look after me' and being in such a desperate financial situation, I have agreed.
Those two days should be interesting!

The guy who holds much of my impending doom future in his hands came and went on Monday morning within 20 minutes. His findings are to be passed onto my Mortgage Company and presumably they will call me with their decision in the next couple of days.
Needless to say, what with my mum's impending operation and the decision on my future being delivered in the next few days, I'm on edge.

I'm trying to hold my head above water and sink my thoughts into other things.
The Blagger is (alegedly) coming round tomorrow evening for one of his "Man Chats" and Smiler, who works on Service Reception has also expressed an interest in joining in the 'fun'.
It could get dirty!

In other news....Any music fans who come across this place are cordially invited to jump over to The Auditorium, which is a music blog currently featuring discussions and posts on the new Faithless Album, Damien Rice's latest realease, Jarvis Cocker's new album and the controversial subject of 'secret tracks', a Tom McRae gig (or not, as girlonatrain puts it), the latest Amy Winehouse album and Girls Aloud, amongst other things.
Please feel free to give it a whirl and leave some comments and opinions.

Thank you.

Sunday, December 3

Tell me a joke and I will love you. Pour me a drink and I'm yours.

The next few days are critical for me.

Tomorrow I have somebody coming to value my house. I'm not moving, just trying to free up some of this 'equity' that everybody else seems to have but apparently I might not have.
His decision will be crucial if I am to break away from the 'Rat Race' of working for a Company and lining everybody else's pockets and making a go of it for myself.
Wednesday, my mum goes into hospital for an operation and we're told she will be likely to stay in for five days to recover.
So yeah, to say I have a lot on my mind is a slight understatement.

Not wanting to wallow in my own self-pity on here, instead I am reminiscing about the gig I went to on Thursday night....The Magic Numbers.
What a great band!

There's nothing outstanding about the two albums they've released so far, but as a live act, they simply ooze with good feeling. I've seen them live a few times now. Once as a support band for Elbow, then on a small tour of their own. Then again on another larger scale tour promoting their debut album, then again at the V Music Festival.

Thursday night was the best gig I've seen them do. To say they've come on leaps and bounds in their live delivery just doesn't do them justice. Their set list was second to none, beginning with two songs from the new album, then launching into the more familiar territory from their debut release. They even managed to embed a great little snatch of Kate Bush in the middle of one of their new songs.
*note* That was a snatch of Kate Bush, Not Kate Bush's snatch.

It was a great crowd and that always makes a huge difference. The band were in good spirits, with the lead singer, Romeo, announcing on more than one occasion that they were up for a "fucking great night". They delivered, the crowd delivered and everybody went home a happy bunny.

Visually, they are as far removed from your 'typical looking band' as you could get, but in my eyes that just makes them all the more interesting. They come in for some criticism in the press for being overweight and touted as a 'frumpy band' but who the hell cares?! The music is the important thing surely and that's exactly where they hit the spot. The fact that some people see them as needing to lose a few pounds doesn't and shouldn't matter and just goes to show what a shallow society we live in nowadays.

Two support bands warmed the crowd up nicely. While they were playing, The Numbers could be seen enjoying their support slots from a balcony just behind, stage left. During The Magic Numbers final song, the support bands came down and joined them onstage, plugging in a various array of instruments and jamming away until Romeo finally attempted to end the song. I came away with a glow in my insides having been witness to a thoroughly enjoyable night of live music.
Quite simply....that's how it should be done.

With that said, I'm now off to begin shitting myself and could possibly be a little vacant for a while.