More often than not, although not exclusively, I'm watching myself in third person. Sat in my van, waiting at some road junction or other, when a heavy vehicle ploughs into the side of me with such huge force and speed and destruction.
It's a wreck. A carnage. A black and white mess.
Sometimes I linger, but usually that's more than enough to wake me. Either way I never get to discover how badly injured I am. Or if I survived at all.
If I'm not having shitty dreams, I'm tossing and turning....unable to remember how to feel comfortable in bed. My arms become extra limbs that are in the way no matter how I position myself.
I am so tired.
So very tired of everything.