Thursday, September 27

Say you to me, you're a bird with an eye for anything shiny.

Text messages recieved in during the last two days:

"Boo wuu2 r u comin out meet me nans in ten mins txt me if u wana cuz im at kizzies x"
"Boo i got sum thing 2"
"boo im walkin 2 nans il be ther in ten minits k x"
"boo wot u doin if ur cumin out l8er il meet u k x kylie"
"Im baby sittin now wot u doin crank x kylie"
"pregnant is she omg on ur mums life really thats bad init x kylie"
"Sorry wrong number x"
"Boo wt ugj 2 im sgtiemn x kylie"
"U jurt i.norin me me nww"

I'm presuming it's not the Kylie.

Does anyone have any idea wtf she was talking about?!

Ooh....updates from the next day :

"R u cumin out or wot ive tried callin u bout 12 times cant u ring me on ths number or ask nan 4 a txt she wont mind cheerz love ya cuz xkx"
"Oi u little slut ur get fuckin stampd on dnt threaten me u clown"

Oh dear, there appears to be some trouble brewing....I think?

Monday, September 24

Trouble is her only friend, and he's back again. Makes her body older than it really is.

When you call me out to do a job, I come. I diagnose the problem (free of charge) and give you my opinion of what's wrong, what needs to be fixed and how much it will cost you.
Here's the general idea:
You call me for a job
I tell you how much it will cost to fix.
You ask me to do the work.
You pay me.

You appear to be failing with the last one. Instead, you've decided to invent your own rule:
Now negotiate a price with me AFTER I've done the work.
If I wanted to do that, I'd have diagnosed the problem (free of charge) and then told you what needs to be fixed but not to bother with a price as I want to negotiate with you AFTER I've done the work, 'cos that makes real sense, <>yeah< /sarcasm >.

Last night was the first time in about 3 months that I had a little weed to smoke. It didn't take much. Tonight, I've mellowed out with the last of the stuff. I love how it accentuates music.*
I've been listening to the new James Blunt and KT Tunstall cd's. In my current state of mind, I'm loving both of them. Blunty's new album surprised me, especially as I'd not seen many great reviews. I'm gonna listen to them again tomorrow and post a review up on theauditorium. It will be interesting for me to see if my first impressions of them were influenced by my current state and in fact they ain't all gravy.

* I am not condoning the use of drugs. Drugs are bad, stay away kids!

Wednesday, September 19

Here I stand, head in hand. Turn my face to the wall.

As the water pissed out of the broken fitting, it suddenly dawned on me that no amount of training could have prepared me for this.
With my trainers covered, my combats soaked up to the knee and the slight look of panic on the lady's face....all I could think about was how lovely it would be to have a 'smoke'. Almost like an out-of-body experience.
It appears my "everything's under control" face works a treat and less than an hour later, her radiators were throwing out so much heat you could have toasted marshmallows on them.

Tuesday, September 18

Love, love is a verb. Love is a doing word. Fearless on my breath.

Building bridges.
Finding escape.
Being part of a decision.
Providing the shoulder to cry on.
Finding something to be amazed at, every day.
Not being afraid to lower your mask.
Wanting to say sorry, even when it's not needed.
Falling in love all over again, every day.
Never allowing the silence to do the talking.
Showing understanding, even when you don't have the solution.
Not being ashamed of your past.
Sharing the good, the bad and the ugly.
Being able to see beneath their skin.
Never taking them for granted.
Conversations that never seem to have an end.
Embracing their beauty while they sleep.
Finding your long, lost friend.
Bearing no grudges.
Butterflies that never take flight.
Kisses that make the world stop turning.

Learning to love yourself first.

Friday, September 14

Strange infatuation seems to grace the evening tide. I'll take it by your side.

I'm sad.
Earlier, I was told by The Girl to "stay away". Luckily it wasn't a indicative comment on our relationship. It was more of a suggestion, fuelled by the fact that she's ill.
Still makes me feel sad though, even though she delivered it with the best intentions.

I think I'm gonna sulk for the rest of the weekend.
Sulking isn't a good look for me, especially as I'm contemplating heating up a treacle sponge pudding in the microwave, irrespective of the fact it went out of date in January.

Tuesday, September 11

In the call of a new world, as I climb to the next floor.

The advert in the local paper goes live from Thursday this week.
Many leaflets have been pushed through local letter-boxes, although there's still a long way to go with those yet.
My phone is poised!

There's a distinct possibility that I may have a van by tomorrow night I now have a van!

Oh, and I'm also advertising for a lodger. It's a huge step. One that I'm not sure I will go ahead with. I guess I'm just testing the water. The extra money would definitely help though.

I've watched some movies, I've listened to lots of new music and tonight....tonight I've even splashed out on a very cheap bottle of wine.
Yep, it's all go here.
It occurred to me earlier, that it's been over two months since I've had a naughty smoke. Of course, this means the next time I have a smoke it will blow my socks off.

Thursday, September 6

Gimme gimme more. Gimme more. Gimme gimme more.

I'm in the middle stages of putting together an advert to run in our local free paper. I'm using the old "you gotta speculate to accumulate" philosophy here. I'm also eternally grateful for my parents apparent 'money tree'.
The Company that I've been dealing with have finally got back to me, after endless calls and emails, to advise me that my leaflets are now done and I can collect them either later today or first thing in the morning.
So with the leaflets that I'm planning to drop over the next few weeks and the local adverts that will be running for the next 6 weeks (starting next weekend), I'm expecting my phone to be ringing off the hook. By the simple law of averages, a regular advert going into 40,000 households (so they tell me) and my leaflet dropping = some work.
I always have the option of making changes to the weekly advert if I feel like it's not working, so if the work that it generates doesn't feel like it's enough, then I shall be forced to change it to
"Will Plumb For Food", or "Naked Plumber", or perhaps both.

Will plumb for food!

Monday, September 3

You better run, you better run, you better not wait too long.

Spent a much needed, wonderful time with The Girl over the weekend. I can't even begin to explain how amazing and supportive she is. How lovely it is to have such loving shoulders to bury myself in.
I signed in for emergency work while I was up there, but nothing was forthcoming. My phone was deathly silent, but that's ok. I'm just looking forward to having it ringing off the hook when the time comes.
My mum has offered to look at my finances for me. I know my folks aren't in a position to bail me out of my despair, but she's offered to look at the numbers and help me out as much as she can. She's quite brilliant when it comes to number crunching, so I'm optimistic that she'll be able to point me in the right direction. Tonight, I've dug deep into my bank statements and listed everything that goes out of my accounts. It's not pretty reading, but I also know it could be a lot, lot worse.
I feel like I'm moving in the right direction.
I AM moving in the right direction.
I'm not down and miserable anymore. I'm completely optimistic about things to come. Things will change....Things ARE changing.