Monday, April 28

You are the only thing in any room you're ever in. I'm stubborn, selfish and too old.

4oz of sugar
4 oz of butter/marge
7 oz of flour
2 eggs
a little milk

Essential criteria for an evening when The Girl and I get stoned, listening to Elbow, trying to make sense of Bookworm.
And every now and then, I'm being reminded that The Girl played the word "quim" against her mum on Scrabulous....

Wednesday, April 23

The whole town's slipping down a hill, like the spine of something dead.

A day in the life with three Estate Agents.

The first guy I liked. He was down to earth, didn't use any lingo and ran through the pros and cons of using his agency to market the house. I thought he was honest and upfront with me, which is a refreshing change to how most Estate Agents are perceived. And he actually gave me the impression that he wants to sell my house. Cool. Oh and he likes Elbow. Double bonus for him. I almost felt like getting the bong out!

The second guy was a cock. He kept calling me mate and reminding me about his twenty years 'in the game'. When I asked him to explain how he would market a property, he replied that mail outs would be sent advertising a 'new instruction', adverts would be in the local paper for 2 weeks and every 4 weeks after that, and....well, that's all he said. I didn't question him anymore on it, it just gave me the impression that they give you a couple of weeks push for a sale, then give up on it. Great.

The third guy appeared to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown, reminding me of Gil from The Simpsons. He did the usual tour of the house, asking questions. Then, I went to ask him about the market, to which he replied that it was in a slump and had been for a good six months or so. He continued, telling me how much slower their business has been and that it's very difficult 'makes ends meet'. I actually started to feel sorry for the guy. There he was, sat telling me how desperate his Agency is for business and I actually started to feel sad. My melancholy feeling didn't last for long though. He asked me what I thought of the price he presumably just picked out of the air; a whopping 20 grand higher than either of the other two guys' valuations.
No wonder he's finding it difficult to find business if he values his houses like that. I just didn't get the whole 'oh woe is me, sales are slow, the market is in a ditch..." and then such a high value on the house?!
Surely, get the valuations right, so you not only get the houses to market, but also the sale.
"Hello! McFly!"
Unless of course, he didn't think he could sell the house for one reason or another. Maybe he purposely over-valued the house, thinking I'd never go with him. The sneaky fucker! Well, maybe I will go with him after all.

....and that HIPS pack is a fucking rip off!

Monday, April 21

Must be the reason why I'm king of my castle. Must be the reason why I'm freeing my trapped soul.

Nope, even The Wamdue Project can't soothe my old bones tonight.

I've booked appointments with three estate agents this week. When I asked how long the appointments would take, the replies ranged from 30 minutes to 1 1/2 hours. Perhaps the guy who stays longest will expect two cups of tea. Maybe I should get the bong out?!
I wonder they will each answer when I tell them that I need the deal done and dusted by the end of August?

My life feels like it's withering away down here. It's difficult to explain that even though I'm gonna be leaving dearly loved ones behind, my life feels like it's time to move on.

It's pushing me
Casting creases to the calm
It's pulling me
Holding me safe from harm.

Me moving a further 100 miles from them doesn't mean my love for them is faltering. It's growing. It's grown enough for them to feel able to let me go. I like to imagine them feeling that even though the extra distance between us might hurt a little, seeing my happiness more than makes up for it.

Saturday, April 19

I come back here from time to time. I shelter here some days.

I was just thinking about a guy called Pete.
He lived opposite us, when we moved into our second house in South Africa. He became our instant friend, because we had a swimming pool in our back garden.
After school, we'd often meet up with him, mostly over his house because he had a much better imagination when it came to playing games. His prize piece being a huge sheet of thick plywood, covered with mini buildings, grass, bunkers, bushes, towers, runways, lights and planes. Lots of 'em. He'd built a huge airport, so he could play with his 'Airfix' models. Genius.
He was really cool kid. The kind you'd really want as a mate. Except when he played football. When he played football, he was a cock!

Monday, April 14

There's this whispering of jokers doing flesh by the pound.

I'm the sixth result on the first page of Google for "nasty looking bed".
That's gotta count for something, right?

Sunday, April 13

Feel her breath on my face. Her body close to me. Can't look in her eyes. She's out of my league .

Songs I've downloaded while I was most likely stoned....
Part Two.

Once again, I've come across yet another one of those songs that pretty easily identifiable as one that I've downloaded whilst being stoned. There's never any other explanation for it. Sometimes these songs can turn out to be a wise choice. A guilty pleasure or forgotten gem. Alas, there's also times when I wonder just what the hell I must have been thinking. I mean, I know that smoking weed affects certain senses, particularly parts of your brain that respond to rhythms and music in particular, but in some cases that really isn't a good enough excuse.
Sometimes the song is borderline, so I spend a little time making a decision whether to bin in or keep it.

Patrick Swayze - "She's Like The Wind"

Just this one downloaded, not the entire soundtrack. Although I do have the soundtrack on CD, but I don't think it's been out of its box for 10 years. Honest!
Well, there's certainly something about it, but I can't put my finger on it. Is it the quietly building piano intro....nope. Is it Patrick's sultry tones....nope. Is the lovely lyrics....erm, nope. I dunno, maybe it's just the fact that's it's not an offensive song. Ok, so it's sung by an actor, but his voice isn't terrible and the song itself is nicely melodic.
Being so strongly attached to a movie obviously helped this song immensely. There were probably lots of girls (and probably guys) who listened to it, dreaming about doing some dirty dancing with Patrick. I didn't. I was more into thinking I'd like to be the one who pushes Baby in the corner. Whaddya mean it's "puts"? I know what I meant!

The lyrics are awful though.
"She's like the wind, through my tree"
I mean....what the fuck?!
"I look in the mirror and all I see, is a young old man with only a dream"
You do what with the who now?

You also have annoying sax coming in towards the end. The annoying sax that used to crop towards the end of all soft American rock stuff. I blame the like of Michael Bolton, but let's not get into naming names.

Wet kipper or forgotten gem?
I'm afraid I'm gonna be binning this one. The song itself is ok, but the lyrics are truly awful and I can't forgive the song for that.

That's 1 to the Forgotten Gems and 1 to the Wet Kippers.

OH, and good luck with everything and I hope you get well soon, Patrick.*

*Just in case he Googles himself, yano**

**Welllllll, you never know!

Saturday, April 12

Promised you a miracle. Belief is a beauty thing.

The last few days have been hard on the work front. I've found myself chasing my own tail on many an occasion, mainly because I haven't picked up jobs that I can complete 'there and then'. It's frustrating the fuck out of me to have to re-book people in, but I guess the positive thing is that I've got some work booked in for a few days next week. Although I'm not looking forward to Monday morning, which will find me digging a three foot deep hole in somebody's back garden to find a leak. I can only hope it doesn't piss down with rain, although saying that, this is the UK, so it more than likely will. Or perhaps snow.


Am I in the minority wondering just why Gladiators is returning to UK TV screens. Why? Whyyyyyy!!!! The 'new' Gladiators have been kept under wraps. It's all been very hush-hush. I guess the producers have wanted to build up the excitement and anticipation.
They must have run out of animal names this time around. No more Rhino, Falcon, Wolf, Fox, Phoenix, Cobra or Hawk. Strangely, Panther is returning, although she appears to have changed her skin colour. Also gone are the ones named after bedside table lamps, condoms and species from Star Trek.
Of course, the new names are just as silly; Inferno, Atlas, Enigma, Tempest, Spartan.... All presumably need to be said with emphasis and a 'grrrr' kind of delivery. I think the producers have made a mistake with one in particular though. As far as I'm concerned, no girl in their right mind would ever want to be referred to as a "Battleaxe". Even though the 'official' blurb that accompanies her profile says, "A weapon of war; domineering, aggressive and indomitable - a warrior queen." To me, a Battleaxe is still considered a slang word for a nagging old hag.

A lack of money is causing me miss out on things I would normally have liked to do. Elbow are playing in their home-town on Sunday night. Somehow, I missed the release of the tickets, but that said, if I had the money then I'd have tried my hardest to talk The Girl into coming with me
and trying our hand at some serious negotiations with the touts outside the venue. I've also found out that Howard Marks is doing one his semi-famous 'talks' in some pub venue in the city somewhere. Another night I'd really like to have participated in.

*sigh again*

I'm making a mental note that having a lack of money sucks. It sucks big time donkey balls.
I'm making another mental note along the lines of never allowing myself to forget how hard things have been for me financially. Some time in the future, when I don't have to buy 'Value' products because that's all I can afford....I'd like to think back and remember that I survived being so broke....that I came out the other side. Of course, this is all on the presumption that I do actually come out the other side.

The Girl just came into the kitchen, while I've been blogging. When I told her I was blogging, she promised not to look at what I was typing. I'm sure she looking over my shoulder right now!
I feel breached!

Wednesday, April 9

All I'm sayin' is sometimes I'm more scared of myself. You better move, I said move.

It wasn't so much the uneasy feeling I felt when I opened the small cupboard door to find a pile of 'Blue Movies' stacked up.
Or even the turn in my stomach when I noticed the one on top titled "The Anal Grader".
But when he said to his daughter, "Look out! He's down there, on the floor, sticking his arse in the air", while I was attempting to fix a leaking lock-shield valve....I felt it would be a good time to make my excuses and leave.

Monday, April 7

Faint light of dawn. I'm listening to you breathing in and breathing out. Needing nothing.

This is Sia:

This is Sia a little later:

She sings beautiful songs like these:

Don't Bring Me Down.

You Have Been Loved.

For our two year anniversary, The Girl and I went to see Sia play in a club.
This was taken just moments before Sia told the crowd about our two year anniversary. We got lots of "Awe's" from them.

She then dedicated "Breathe Me" to The Girl.

And then it began to snow as we walked back.

Thursday, April 3

Send a wish upon a star. Make a map and there you are.

Ahead of me is a great weekend.
I'm spending a few days with The Girl and if that isn't great enough, on Saturday night I'm taking her to see Sia play a gig. And if that isn't great enough, it's our two year anniversary.
It's gonna be a great weekend and I'm really looking forward to it.
So why do I feel so glum?!

I'm about to embark on another adventure, by selling up my house and moving up to be closer to her, so everything should be really exciting. And it is. But it's also frightening.
I'm in no doubt what-so-ever that I'm doing the right thing. It's what I want to do and The Girl is who I want to be with. Who I'd like to grow old with.
It's all the bullshit. All the bullshit that's standing in our way. That's what's bringing me down. I think because all of my focus is on being up there, I'm finding myself being weighed down by all the crap I have to sort out.

"Great Expectations (live acoustic show)" from Elbow.
*is this really about Edith Bowman?*