Wednesday, February 28

I spy with my little eye something that begins with 'I don't care'.

The subject matter was little bit ooh, a little bit aah.

The Pipe Doctor was enough to get us into fits of giggles this morning. Then came discussions of back passages, double rear entries, pipe lube, rodding techniques, tight entries, CCTV usage and potential root damage of all things.
We all watched the monitor closely while somebody was rodding the pipes.

Monday, February 26

I can see a new horizon underneath the blazin' sky. I'll be where the eagle's flying higher and higher

This morning, I phoned The Money People and told them I wouldn't be putting up with their crap anymore. I've cancelled it all.
Fuck 'em.

I'm also intending to write them a letter beginning with the words, "Dear Fuckface".

Thursday, February 22

Such a mass of motion, do not know where it goes. I move with the movement and ... I have the touch.

A while ago, I was tagged by rach at crisisinterventionsummit.

I don't normally do the whole 'tag' thingy, but after a while passed, I felt kinda guilty about not making any effort, especially as I'd been specifically tagged. I'm afraid I draw the line at tagging other people though.

6 weird/strange things about me....

  • I keep my pubes tidy. It's pretty much as simple as that. I don't like the whole natural growth/thatched/big bush thing that goes on 'downstairs'. I don't think cocks and balls are the most 'attractive' things in the world anyway, so to have an overgrown bush down there too is just too much. This is probably a more 'strange' rather than weird thing. I don't think it's weird that people like to look after their pubic gardens, it's more because I don't think it's very common with guys that it would probably be more of a strange thing.
  • I don't like silence. I'm not sure I would use the word hate, but silence is something I like to avoid. On the back of this, I like to have music playing pretty much as often as I can. If there's a way I can listen to music or just have it on in the background, then I'll use it.
  • When I'm on my time, I can often be found with no boxer shorts on under my jeans. It's not a fetish thing, it's purely for comfort.
  • I sing a lot when I'm on my own. I have no real idea how bad I sound, but in my mind I sound exactly how the singer sounds. I don't sing in the shower, but I can be found at my peak in the car. Drivers who pass by the side of me must wonder what the hell's going on. When I really get into it, I don the whole 'putting one finger in your ear' thing and even play air guitar and keyboard on the steering wheel. I learnt from experience that air drums whilst driving a car isn't big or clever.
  • I always switch off the kettle at the plug when it's finished boiling. I don't know why I do this because I don't do it with other things. Well, except the toaster. I know there's no problem with the kettle being left plugged in and powered up when it's not doing it's thing. I know there's not gonna be some mad explosion. I just do it.
  • I can't wear a watch. I find them very uncomfortable to wear, which is odd because I'm quite happy with bangles on either wrist, sometimes both. I think it's a combination of not wanting to have such a quick and easy reference to time so close by and the weight and 'feel' of wearing it.
Of course what one person calls weird or strange, another person wouldn't bat an eyelid at.

Wednesday, February 21

Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime you are near.

It's not wise to 'rush' having a wee.
Failure to abide by this rule may result in a Something About Mary situation.
The meat and two veg appear to unharmed. They are just sufferring a little trauma.

My Windows Live Mail doesn't seem to be loading. I always have to 'switch to classic version' because the full load gives me useless screen. I've cleared out my temp files and cookies as they suggested but to no avail.
Anyone got any ideas?

Tuesday, February 20

The anger swells in my guts and I won't feel these slices and cuts's things....?

My cold is much better. I'm not coughing up all that crap anymore, my nose isn't so sniffly and my stuffy head has disappeared.
My money situation hasn't improved at all and I'm finding every day a real struggle now.
I'm completely and madly in love with The Girl, even after a year (technically), it's still growing.

The money situation is so frustrating. Yesterday I received a tex message on my mobile from The Money People saying everythiong had been approved, giving a number to ring for further updates. I called the number later on, only to be told they had no such decision recorded on my file.
Today, I've received a letter from The Money people saying the same thing, all accepted. This time giving a different number to ring for updates. I called that one, only to be told they could do nothing until the guy who's dealing with my case confirms to them a change in loan amount. So once again, this is something that was supposed to be done in December!
I then called the other number and spoke to a helpful guy who looked over all my notes. He then asked me what I'd been told, so I said about the text message, then the letter (dated yesterday!) both confirming it had all been accepted. I also told him about calling the 'help number' and being told nothing about confirmation, just about the loan amount being in disrepency.
He told me that on his notes, it's written that the under-writers have passed back the application to the guy who's dealing with my case because they've rejected it. This is dated Friday the 17th, which obviously conflicts with the text message and letter I've received since then.
I am having a severe head fuck over all this.

When I drive to my Training Centre, I pass a factory unit called "BJ's Cheese". Now somehow, that's just gotta be wrong, right?

On Friday, The Girl treated me to a night out at the cinema. We watched Music and Lyrics and I really enjoyed it. Hugh Grant just plays himself as per usual, but Drew Barrymore was excellent. She got to wear some really nice clothes too.

I heard on the news today, about the biggest poll of it's kind all about peoples perception about their bodies. How can girls think that being a UK Size 12 is overweight. What the fuck is wrong with society?!!!
Poor Robbie's in rehab again and Britney's decided to shave off all her hair.
What the hell's going on?

Wednesday, February 14

Me with the floorshow, kickin' with your torso. Boys getting high and the girls even more so.

So, I'm a little better today.

Of course, many people may be thinking, "Oh of the Man-Flu is it?", but no, it isn't. I'm rarely ill, so I'm lucky in that respect, but on the flip side when I do get ill, it usually sweeps me off my feet.
I'm not sure if it's just me (I don't think it is), but when I'm really ill, my bollocks ache. I've had them squeezed really hard by somebody for a period of time, but not enough for them to hurt right away....they just ache a lot sometime later.
Oh, just me then.

Driving back from the Training Centre today was really funny.
A few days ago, I found a nifty short-cut, which cuts about 15 minutes off my journey, due to not having to wait in loads of stop/start/crawling traffic. Sometime today, roadworks appeared on the route and consequently it wasn't such a good short-cut after all. There were temporary traffic control lights on a roundabout junction, causing a huge tail back of stop/start/crawling traffic.
I glanced in my rear view mirror and saw a girl in the car behind. Her facial expressions were hilarious! At first, I thought she was on a hands-free mobile, talking to somebody else, but alas no....she was going ape-shit at the traffic hold up. Like it was our fault! Ranting and raving, she was. We'd crawl along a little, then come to a stop and as I glanced back in the morror at her, she was doing a brilliant impression of somebody having an arguement, except there was nobody else there. I wasn't doing it on purpose, but I could see her going nuts again, waving her hands around because I wasn't 2 inches away from the car in front of me. Apparently I wasn't the only one because I could see her clearly having a moan at some of the cars in front of me doing the same thing.
It was frustrating, but hey....road repairs have to be done, right. Thankfully, she was excellent entertainment that made it so much more bearable.

Most people in the UK have heard about this story. A 2 year old girl sexually assualted and then murdered. The police have now charged the girl's Uncle. I'm a firm believer in "Innocent, until proven guilty". I'm also very aware that the Justice System we have isn't infallible, but that said....the guy who did this should be castrated, publically humiliated and then sent away to spend the rest of his natural life in a very horrible prison.
What a sick fucking bastard!
Men can be such appalling and horrifying people at times.

I'm so ashamed to be part of this sex.

Tuesday, February 13

What goes around comes back around.

It doesn't happen very often,
but when it does,
it knocks me off my feet.

I'm ill.

Sunday, February 11

Cast your eyes, like summer skies. Bluer than the ocean, clearer than the skies.

Feeling tired all the time.

I would have thought I'd have been feeling more mentally tired, than physically, due to having to use my brain so much on this Training Course. I am mentally tired, but no more than usual. The physical tireness is getting me down though.
I spent 2 nights with The Girl over the weekend and even though me feeling so tired meant I get to sleep next to her longer, I couldn't help but feel I was letting her down. We don't see that much of each other as it is and when I'm there....with her....I feel so tired that I have to go to bed.

On Friday night, we were in the kitchen enjoying some wine, a smoke and each other's conversation. Although I'm not sure I could use the adjective 'enjoying' when I think back to how obsessed with 'poo' she became after a smoke!
At around 11pm, there was a knock at the front door. Well, not a knock on the door, it was more like somebody knocking their keys on the glass in the door. We both looked at each other. Our conversation dipped in volume and became sparse as we both waited to see if there was a follow-up knock. There was. The second knock was more defined, a little longer. Almost like they 'knew' we were in, just not answering.
A little later, we were in the living room and heard something out the back of the house, followed by a dog barking. The Girl thought it might have been the neighbours dog barking after finding a way through the garden fence and becomming trapped. Apparently it's happened before. She went out to check and said it was the neighbour's dog barking at her dog, who is currently staying 2 doors away, at her mum's house.
We spent a little more time in the living room before going upstairs to bed. I did my usual checking of the locks on the doors and windows. The back door wasn't locked from when The Girl had been out. No thoughts passed through my mind at that point, when I locked it, but something must have triggered the dream I had.

It was an early hour, maybe 3am or later. I woke up in a sweat and turned around to give The Girl a cuddle. She was soaking too, but it wasn't sweat. She was covered in blood. So was I. I wasn't covered in sweat after all. I could see she was dying. Her eyes half open, he mouth trying to shape some words. Something caught my eye. A man. In the room, at the foot of the bed, brandishing a huge knife or maybe a meat cleaver. He too was covered in blood. I couldn't see his face, but I could hear him perfectly.
"I've been after you for some time", he said. I remember asking him why? Who he was? What have I done? He just repeated the same sentence over and over.
The Girl pulled at me and when I turned to her, she had tears coming from her eyes as she mouthed the words, "I'm so sorry...."
I heard a shuffle, turned quickly and saw the man lunging at me with the knife over his head.

I woke up, turned to The Girl and cuddled her. I whispered "I love you" and must have drifted off to sleep.
I didn't tell her about the dream. For some reason, I didn't want to scare her with such a horrible bunch of thoughts.

The money situation has taken a turn. I'm not sure if it's a turn for the better or worse. After numerous phone calls, ansa-fone messages and an official complaint made by myself on Thursday night, I've had a couple of phone calls, enormously apologising for all previous fuck ups and promising a speedy conclusion for my case. On the negative side, I have to re-sign an application and return some more statements to them, but I've done all that now and it's currently on the side, waiting for me to post it back in the morning.

Wednesday, February 7

And all I have to do is hold you. There's a racing within my heart and I am barely touching you

in love

the pieces fit like no other
melting into me
i can grow
i can grow with this

not craving for more
but gratefull for what she offers
her very person
her very soul

lives meandering through time
crossing paths and gently
so gently stroking the other
to never lose sight

a place where we can be one
a time where we can be one
a beautiful destination
a complete revelation

we can

in love

Monday, February 5

She swings me over to pull me out, Twirls around and I fall about, in giggles and laugher, oh I’m plastered, can’t damn help it, I’m sorry love.

Some good luck for a change!

My current boneshaker of a car seems to be half-reliable. Not only has it managed to be reliable enough to get me to my course every morning, but it also got me up to The Girl's house and back.
It's such a relief to have some reliability now and I feel like I've come slowly back down to earth.

The Jamie T album is excellent!

Over the weekend, The Girl and I went to see The Fountain at the cinema. A really good film, but we both felt like we 'lost the emotion' of the film, probably due to a woman coming in with a baby. Not a small child, a baby! A baby that cried through the first 30 minutes. Not constant crying but enough noise to distract from the film.
Who the fuck takes a baby to a cinema!
Anyway great film. I'm gonna watch it again, this time with hopefully no distractions and see if I beomce more absorbed by it.
The soundtrack is amazing though. I'm gonna download that too.
Yeah, I know....I'm bad.

The Jamie T album is the dog's bollocks. Have I mentioned that already?