Sunday, February 11

Cast your eyes, like summer skies. Bluer than the ocean, clearer than the skies.

Feeling tired all the time.

I would have thought I'd have been feeling more mentally tired, than physically, due to having to use my brain so much on this Training Course. I am mentally tired, but no more than usual. The physical tireness is getting me down though.
I spent 2 nights with The Girl over the weekend and even though me feeling so tired meant I get to sleep next to her longer, I couldn't help but feel I was letting her down. We don't see that much of each other as it is and when I'm there....with her....I feel so tired that I have to go to bed.

On Friday night, we were in the kitchen enjoying some wine, a smoke and each other's conversation. Although I'm not sure I could use the adjective 'enjoying' when I think back to how obsessed with 'poo' she became after a smoke!
At around 11pm, there was a knock at the front door. Well, not a knock on the door, it was more like somebody knocking their keys on the glass in the door. We both looked at each other. Our conversation dipped in volume and became sparse as we both waited to see if there was a follow-up knock. There was. The second knock was more defined, a little longer. Almost like they 'knew' we were in, just not answering.
A little later, we were in the living room and heard something out the back of the house, followed by a dog barking. The Girl thought it might have been the neighbours dog barking after finding a way through the garden fence and becomming trapped. Apparently it's happened before. She went out to check and said it was the neighbour's dog barking at her dog, who is currently staying 2 doors away, at her mum's house.
We spent a little more time in the living room before going upstairs to bed. I did my usual checking of the locks on the doors and windows. The back door wasn't locked from when The Girl had been out. No thoughts passed through my mind at that point, when I locked it, but something must have triggered the dream I had.

It was an early hour, maybe 3am or later. I woke up in a sweat and turned around to give The Girl a cuddle. She was soaking too, but it wasn't sweat. She was covered in blood. So was I. I wasn't covered in sweat after all. I could see she was dying. Her eyes half open, he mouth trying to shape some words. Something caught my eye. A man. In the room, at the foot of the bed, brandishing a huge knife or maybe a meat cleaver. He too was covered in blood. I couldn't see his face, but I could hear him perfectly.
"I've been after you for some time", he said. I remember asking him why? Who he was? What have I done? He just repeated the same sentence over and over.
The Girl pulled at me and when I turned to her, she had tears coming from her eyes as she mouthed the words, "I'm so sorry...."
I heard a shuffle, turned quickly and saw the man lunging at me with the knife over his head.

I woke up, turned to The Girl and cuddled her. I whispered "I love you" and must have drifted off to sleep.
I didn't tell her about the dream. For some reason, I didn't want to scare her with such a horrible bunch of thoughts.

The money situation has taken a turn. I'm not sure if it's a turn for the better or worse. After numerous phone calls, ansa-fone messages and an official complaint made by myself on Thursday night, I've had a couple of phone calls, enormously apologising for all previous fuck ups and promising a speedy conclusion for my case. On the negative side, I have to re-sign an application and return some more statements to them, but I've done all that now and it's currently on the side, waiting for me to post it back in the morning.

2 parlez:

phx said...

what a horrible dream! glad you had The Girl nearby to cuddle.

Saffyre said...

Holy shit what a scary dream!

I'd say don't tell The Girl, but i'm guessing she probably reads this anyway...