Now I'm climbing carpet walls, for just another chance.

They had me from the heartbeating intro of "Starlings", to the hypnotising outro of "Scattered Black And Whites".

He's like your lover, your work colleague, your cousin and your best friend all rolled into one. With a passionate love for his hometown. The way he strolls around the stage, doing his best impression of your favourite uncle. The labour of love they all evoke.
Strange setlist. Nothing from "Cast Of Thousands", although it's been commented that they all feel the album rushed and incomplete. Shame, I love that album. If anything, I'd have loved to hear "George Lassoes The Moon", just to hear how well they can play it. Oh, and I wish they'd stop playing "The Fix". I don't know why, but I just can't get into that song.


Looking like he'd feel more comfortable in a woolly cardigan and fluffy slippers, Guy plodded about the stage, occasionally making his point with his hand gestures and making sure we were all ok. Surely he qualifies for nicest person in music, if not, then at least one of the best frontmen around.
This was the crowd 'throwing our curtains wide".

I was completely mesmerised by their performance of"The Loneliness Of A Tower Crane Driver". I was surprised they played it. A slow burning, heartfelt and melancholy song that leaves you feeling like you want to turn the pitch up. It ponders, it meanders, it slow-boats along at its own pace. An unlikely choice for a live crowd pleaser, I thought. But how wrong I was. Guy really sung his heart out on this song. And he sounded even better than on the recording. Amazing.
And they had strings. I love strings.


Judging from her pictures, girlonatrain was about 10 feet or so in front of us.
Phew, close call eh?

Not today, just suck on your plastic spoon. Chase the fucker, George lassoo the moon.

Elbow are playing tonight.
I have tickets.
It's a little touch and go if we will make it.

When I first bought the tickets, I knew in the back of my head that the date was around something I'd previously said yes to. A short while later and my initial fears were realized. The dates clashed!

The gig was off!

By this time, a second date had been announced and consequently sold out, which meant I'd lost the option of going to the second gig and selling my initial tickets on somewhere.
A few conversations followed, resulting in some re-shuffling of schedules and more importantly, everybody was happy.

The gig was back on!

A couple of weeks ago, things took a turn for the worse. Something else came up. Something else that in the scheme of things was more important than an Elbow gig. So, once again I found myself with tickets to see a band that I love, but unable to go.
A few conversations followed. It looked like it was a no-no for the gig, so I resigned myself to the fact that I'd have to do something else with the tickets.

The gig was back off!

My first thought was to list them on a ticket-swap website. After all, there may be a chance that somebody has tickets for the second night, but for one reason or another would prefer to go to the first.

The gig might be back on!

No such luck on that front. So off to the dreaded Ebay I went. My first thought was to sell mine and buy a pair for the second night. I tracked a few sales for both nights going through and saw that the second night tickets were selling for a fair amount more than the first night. So, if I went through this route, not only would I have double hassle with the whole Ebay thing, but I'd also be out of pocket. Spending more money isn't an option for me at the moment, so I once again resigned to the fact that I wouldn't be going at all and should just sell my tickets on.

The gig was back off!

I got to the point of going through endless pages of profile information, updating all my address details, but just couldn't find it in me to actually do the listing.
A couple of days ago, more accurate timings of the other commitment began to unfold. It's possible, although I should probably be careful using that word, that we can do both. Yes, if things run pretty smoothly for the earlier part of the evening, then there's a chance we can make it. We certainly wont get to see the support band and it's likely we may miss the beginning, which is shit, 'cos they're probably gonna kick off with Starlings....
If we're gonna miss too much of it though, then I'd rather not go. It may sound silly, but I've never arrived so late as to miss a full set list by anyone before. And I'm not about to start now.

For me, soaking up the atmosphere in the crowd while waiting for the main band to come on....when the background music stops, when the house lights go down....when the crowd turns from chatter to anticipation and excitement....when the silhouetted figures meander onto the stage....when those last minute tuning notes are fired....when they launch into the first song.... That's what a live experience is all about!

So, I'm back to the gig being back on.
Sort of.
Hopefully.

Fingers crossed, I might see you later, guys.

And in the dark, it comes for me. Malevolent and without thought.

Igor.
Seriously....What a pile of steaming, smelly shit.
That is all.

As a matter of fact, don't let nothin' hold you back. If the Scatman can do it brother, so can you.

First came the subject of the correct way to hang toilet roll. Then came the controversial (and widely practised, it appears) discussion about reading on the toilet. Now comes the next installment of what appears to be a growing area of disputation that's come about since I've been staying with The Girl.

A few nights ago, we both went upstairs, heading for bed. Whilst in the bathroom, brushing my teeth, in comes The Girl heading for the toilet. I turn around and see she's already in 'reverse up, ready to pull jeans down' mode. Whoah there! In fact I said that. "Whoah there!", said I. What followed was a giggly discussion about the subject of going to the toilet in front of your partner. I'm not even sure if The Girl actually intended to use the toilet or if she did it because she wanted to see what my reaction would be. Well, she's now fully informed. I was so traumatized by it all that we ended up going from a giggly discussion to a full blown argument, resulting in me staying at my parents house this weekend. Actually, one of those last parts isn't true.

It doesn't matter how long you've been with your partner. It doesn't matter that you've probably had your hands and mouth in their most intimate of places. It doesn't matter if you're über cool and relaxed with each other.
It Doesn't Matter!
You just don't go to the toilet in front of your partner!
There will undoubtedly be people who disagree with me, but just so you know, they're wrong.

It's only a partner thing for me though. Other areas are a little mixed up. For example, I'd take a piss in front of friends and family, although definitely not my mum. Or any of my aunts for that matter. And I'll include my nan in that exclusion list too. But my brother, his wife, my friends....not a problem.
I should point out that I'd draw the line with anybody when it comes to doing a *number two. Who on earth would want to be present when somebody else is taking a shit?!
And as for all that scat porn . Who the fuck finds mixing shit with sex a turn on?!!! I mean, I'm all for people having different views and opinions, but really!

I wonder if Scatman John ever lived down the day he discovered the meaning behind his name. Unless of course he knew it all along. In which case....Eeuw! The dirty fucking bastard. Oh, and it's a shit song too. Although there's a good hook in there, dammit. This would be the sort of thing I'd download when I'm stoned.




So, last night I sat in my mum and dad's dining room, with the music channels on their big tv, the sound up and smoked a phat spliff. There was a split second when I felt really guilty about it. But then I remembered they were away....somewhere abroad, sunning themselves up. I slept really well and felt really pleased with myself that I hadn't given in to the munchies episode last night. I checked their fridge and all chocolate bars were still present and correct.

*I wonder if Jacob or Max Bevis know they have been referenced on the www. Although it's not really the sort of thing you'd sing and shout about. Well done to user wangdong for letting everybody know though.

The last time I freaked out, I just kept lookin' down. I st st stuttered when you asked me what I'm thinkin' 'bout.

I've been ill.
I'm still feeling under the weather, but on a plus side, this morning I think I got 'blessed' by a Jewish guy and then later found myself having a coffee and a chat with a guy who's written scripts for Hollyoaks.
Yesterday, I was sawing a toilet cistern off a wall because some bright spark thought it would be a good idea to use 'no more nails' glue instead of the traditional (and more common sense) screws to stabilise it.
It's been a strange week.