Thursday, September 10

I love the feeling when we lift off. Watching the world so small below. I love the dreaming when I think of... the safety in the clouds out my window.

I've only been working just over a week, and already I'm tiring of the banter between the guys when they talk about girls. It doesn't seem to matter where you work, what your social life is, who is in your circle of friends....there are always those sort of guys who seem to think that it's ok to talk about girls like they are pieces of meat.
It internally annoys me.
It gets to me.
It makes me feel embarrassed.
It makes me feel like walking away, and I often do.

We have six girls working at our place. None of them....not one of them can understand my brand of humour. Mind you, none of the other guys there can either. Maybe it's too early. Or maybe they will never get me. I hope in time they do, because the only people who think of me as the odd one out....the black sheep, as it were, is my family. And nothing I do will ever change that. I'm just....accepted, the way I am.

Sometimes, I wonder if anybody outside of my family will get me. Perhaps I'm just always gonna be misunderstood, to a certain degree. Looked upon with a frown, a squint, a pair of eyes full to the brim with suspicion and disbelief.

I've never pretended for one minute that I'm anything other than a little 'different'. Where it came from, I don't know. My childhood maybe? My up-bringing? My life that's been repeatedly shit upon?
To me, it doesn't matter so much where it came from. I am what I am. And if other people don't, wont, or can't accept me for who I am, then it's their problem, not mine.
I'm really proud to be me.
Mental breakdown aside. I know I am a good person. And if the world was filled with more good people, it would, without doubt, be a much, much better place.

6 parlez:

paris_elaine said...

Having a breakdown wouldn't exclude you from being a "good person"! It seems to me it's more likely to happen to good people actually

LB said...

Hear hear, bedshaped. I'd get you, I reckon.

sharon said...

Don't ever think you're less of a person because people don't "get" you. Be proud of who you are and how far you've come.

bedshaped said...

But the fact is, I know I wasn't a good person....the good person that I am deep down when I had my breakdown.

Thanks dude.

Hello and welcome to you! I know what you're saying. And yes, I am proud of who I am.

gekkogirl said...


Well that bit you talk about happens to be my flatmates favourite bit too and he doesn't know what its called either :)

bedshaped said...

Posted as a comment to the wrong post?
It's best that we don't know the 'proper' word for it anyway.