Wednesday, January 30

It's not over tonight. Just give me one more chance to make it right.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm a bad reader. If that's the correct way of saying it.
What I mean is, I can happily pick up a book to read. I like it. I enjoy it. But it's the way I read that's so bad. At compelling parts, I get completely sucked in and can't help but allow my eyes to jump ahead. Not loads, just a little further down the page. Just enough to find out what I needed to know. And I skim read too, to find what I need quicker.
I can't help myself. I always do it.
I always feel guilty about it then, 'cos when I go back to read from where I was, I already know where it's going. So I've all but ruined it for myself. Taken away a climax!
I've never, ever skipped from within a book, right to the last page to see the conclusion. But I wonder if what I do is some kind of new fangled medical condition. And what if this condition grows into something bigger. Would I be destined to feed my craving so much, I'd do the dirty deed and read that last page?

I guess I could judge how much I enjoyed a book by how guilty I felt about reading it.

Mum gave me £50 to get some shopping in for myself. She's so good to me. I've had to put it in my bank account to cover a debit coming out. How fucking crap is that?! Times is 'ard. I could really use a break right about now.
I've had a smoke.
I really miss The Girl.
She said she would wait until however long it took. I can't even begin to describe how amazing it felt to be me right then. That another person would ever think so much of me as to say that.

Deep inside, I don't think I've ever felt happier.

4 parlez:

Fern said...

can't help but see this parallel and ask:

If The Girl were a book...(?)

Celeste said...

Love the new design.

Money is the bain of life.

You are lucky that you have such a great gal and that you have eachother.

Chin up. X

John said...

I like fern's parralel, tis a good one.

bedshaped said...

fern,
If the girl were a book....I'd have skipped to the end to see where we were going.

celeste,
Money is The Devil's dealings!

john,
Yeah, she does like to throw spanners in the works.