Today has been nothing short of weird.
Actually, subtract weird and insert a steaming pile of wank.
It's mostly work related.
The fiasco I lived through this morning was as comical (on refection) as a Carry On film.
The long as short of it was:
I had a new car being collected by a customer this afternoon. The car is currently in our compound, which is about 15 miles from the Dealership. It's been sat there since it got delivered 7 days ago.
7 days ago, I saw that it had been delivered and straight away, sent a fax to our beloved transport department to ask them to get the car over to me.
A simple and mostly trouble free process.....Normally.
Each day after the fax, I would call our beloved transport department to ask, "Is my car coming over today?", to be told, "Probably not today, but we'll try and get it over tomorrow."
6 days pass and still no sign of my car.
Today, the customer was due to collect the car at 3pm. It's been done before, where we've had the car delivered, got it in the workshop for the technicians to do a 'pre-delivery-check' on it, had it fully valeted and even squeezed in a coffee or two before the customer arrives, so I wasn't too stressed out, until I made the phone call...to our beloved transport department.
bedshaped, "Hi beloved transport department...any chance I will have my car delivered today...you know, the one I've been asking for, for the last 6 days. Only, the customer would really like to collect it this afternoon?"
beloved transport department, "I don't think we can get it over today, we have a lack of drivers. We might be able to get it over to you tomorrow."
bedshaped, "Oh...."
beloved transport department, "Yeah, sorry."
bedshaped, "Ok....erm...how about...if I come down and collect it off you. I'm sure I can get a lift down there?"
beloved transport department, "Yeah...yeah, that would be great" That would help us out a lot."
bedshaped, "Cool. Can you do me one small favour? Would you be able to dig the keys out and get the car ready, so I can just turn up, sign the paperwork and then just leave?"
beloved transport department, "Sure, no problem"
Here's a summary of what followed....
Arrived at beloved transport department headquarters at 9.30am
9.50am, the guy finally finds the keys.
10.05am, he informs me that the car is out of fuel and do we have a fuel can in the car?
Erm....hello!!!! You are a transport department and you don't have any fuel cans down here???
11.10am, he writes us a fuel ticket out and send us up the road to get 5 litres of fuel...in an empty container that had previously contained turpentine substitute; the stuff you clean paint brushes with.
11.15am, we arrive at the fuel pump to be greeted by a guy called Dave. I offer him our fuel ticket, to be told that he will "give up his tea break" to serve us the fuel.
11.20am, we race back to the beloved transport department because said container has a hole in the side which is pissing out fuel. My finger proves a good plug, until it starts stinging!
11.25am, the fuel is given to the guy, who promptly transfers it into...yep...a fuel can...and proceeds to walk off in presumably, the direction of the car I wanted to take.
11.40am, he walks back up the compound, with a look on his face (the shaking of his head may have also been a clue) as if to say, "ain't no way that car's going anywhere"
We are told that the car has an engine problem and is what we call (and here's the clever bit) a non-starter!
11.45am, I track down the beloved transport department's manager and inform him of my predicament, to which he suggest I take a different car back with me. One of the other 9 cars we have been requesting for the past 5 days!
11.55am, After keys have been tracked down and the subsequent car found, I am on my way back to the Dealership, albeit with the wrong car!
Upon return, I am given a message from the customer who is due to pick his new car up in less than 3 hours, to ring him back to confirm everything is ok for 3pm collection.
I hate making phone calls like that! Especially as it's not even my fault.
The rest of the day at work was pretty much more of the same.
We have a new guy who started with us on Tuesday. His original nickname was Monkey-Boy, but after just 3 days, he has been renamed Pornstar, because yesterday, he told everybody else in the sales department that he'd starred in a porn movie.
Wow...we have a pornstar working at our Dealership!
Don't panic, I'm already asking him for tips!
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