Tuesday, March 14

Make it worth it, 'cos time is beating our hearts.

As I was lay in the bath earlier, I was thinking about pubic hair.

It's a funny old thing, is pubic hair. It's almost like a mark of maturity and yet, when people reach that point, they feel it necessary to either hide it, wipe it out, shape it, trim it, or sometimes leave it to do natures' course.

I can't even remember how old I was when I first grew pubes. I was trying to think back earlier and all I could remember was the dread of having to take a shower with all the other boys after a lesson of physical education. We used to have one of the wanky teachers that would stand there and insist we all got in the showers at the same time. He would moan and shout at us if we tried to dodge it and would stand there tapping his foot and going onnnn and onnnn until he had seen everybody at least get wet.
From a hygienic point of view, sure, it's a good thing. From a teenager's point of view, it's hell!

Trying my hardest to think back, I still can't remember what age I was when I first started 'sprouting'. Not only that, but I also couldn't remember just how they grew!
I mean....did they just show up in even growth one day or did I get the occasional hair growing, until I finally gained my 'maturity bush'

Guys are lucky, I guess, mainly because when it comes to keeping the 'hair levels' down, in most cases, that only involves shaving our faces. I am (So I'm told), in the minority when it comes to guys actually looking after their pubes. It's been mentioned several times on here before about my feelings of pubes, especially on a guy and how I have to maintain a certain...erm...standard.

Girls however...well, it's a whole new kettle of fish in that respect. There's the leg shaving, the arm-pit shaving and then the 'tendering of the garden', so to speak. I've lost count of different types of 'garden culture', ranging from....all off, to brazilian, to landing strips, to trimmed, to making shapes, to au naturel.

I knew a girl once, who used to tell people that she shaved everything off, only to get a tattoo done 'downstairs', which sounded like she basically wanted to always have a neat bush, without the hassle of doing it herself. To me, that's on a par with girls who shave all of their eyebrows off and then pencil them back in again.

I've also known girls to make shapes, such a hearts, arrows and big V signs.

I've gone the whole-hog and taken all mine all off a few times. Whilst the penis isn't exactly the cutest thing to cast your eyes upon at the best of times, this just made things look a million times worse! But then again, is that better than seeing a 'Tree in a forrest!".

So there was me, lay in the bath, with bubbles up to my neck, thinking about pubic hair.

My mind works in mysterious ways sometimes, but it will possibly never beat the 'Pencil Sex' conversation last night!

This post began as a grumble about all the shit at work again today. Somehow the pubic hair incident seemed much more relevant.

New mp3 music files available to download on the right, in the bedshaped jukebox.
I've been in a Tori mood tonight.

6 parlez:

surly girl said...

1) i don't get tori amos. never have.

2) you have way, way too much thinking time spare.

Anonymous said...

Hi Bed Shaped,
I once fell out with the Missus (I was probably half pissed) on holiday and shaved all my body hair off!

The real pisser is she never realised! I currently have a two months worth of body hair and it's so much better, besides I once read that your cock looks bigger shaved! I can do with all the help I can get!

As to pencil sex, I once read about a croatian/serbian guy who had a new girlfriend and was concerned about sustaining an erection, so he put a pencil down his penis!!!!!!! I'm cringing typing this. He had to have it removed in A & E. I bloody hope his penis was longer than the pencil! Was that what your conversation was about? Thought not, so tell us.

I'll be anonymous on this one for obvious reasons!

Anonymous said...

Well I so do get Tori - she is the queen of live music and I'm over the moon with your playlist so thanks for that

Joe said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Joe said...

When I went to the GUM clinic last year my doctor told me I was in a minority for not *double entendre* my pubic hair. Frankly I can't be arsed with all that. It's not the first thing I notice on a guy...but you carry on!

moi said...

i've never understood the whole 'shapes' thing. my friend says she changes with each month, i believe she's a lamb right now. i wonder what her april is... a raindrop?