There's a space kept in hell with your name on the seat. With a spike in the chair just to make it complete.

Our meeting at work this morning, 8.31am:

"Right guys. Look, I know it's been a little slow this week so far, but let's not lose faith in ourselves. We're proving time and time again how well we all work together, pulling out all the stops just when we need it. If I can ask you all just to keep a sharp focus on things, keep me involved and let's all do our best to try and save this week. I don't want you guys walking around with droopy smiles. Don't get down-hearted. We can do something about this. So let's all give it our best shot, ok?"

And then I awoke from the day-dream.

This is how our sales meeting went this morning, 8.33am:
"The morning meeting starts at 8.30am guys! Not 8.33am, or 8.36am, or even 8.pisspoor excuse am. It's 8.30. AM!!!! There will be serious consequences for any further lateness. I'm pissed off with it. And what I'm also pissed off about is the lack of results from you guys! Seriously, what's going on? I ask you to do things and you all just pay lip-service. None of you are working anywhere near hard enough! DON'T ANY OF YOU WANT TO EARN ANY MONEY, BECAUSE I DO! I'm comparing our performance against *one of the other branches* and all I can see from it, is that you guys are shit at what you're doing. Whatever you're doing, it's wrong. I have to ask myself....have I got the right team of people here? All the other branches are delivering results. We look shit. Everybody looks at us and thinks we're shit. People are looking at you guys and thinking you're all shit. And I have to agree with them! This week WILL turn around....or there will be consequences!"

My boss is such a cock.