You can keep me pinned, 'cos it's easier to tease. But you can't paint an elephant, quite as good as she.

It worries me a little that I'm told I was eating pork pie on Christmas night.
I hate pork pie.
I saw a programme once, about healthy eating, and they showed a guy taking a bite of a pork pie and then a bite out of a block of lard. Lard! And they said he was getting nothing more out of the pork pie than the block of lard, as far as nutrients, goodness, etc is concerned. From that moment on, I turned my back on pork pies!
Apparently, I was also singing "Mr Brightside" at the top of my voice, into a 'soap on a rope' shaped in the form of a microphone. Don't ask!
Best not mention then, that at just after midnight, I went outside, running to my car, shouting out at the top of my voice that I wanted to hear some Lady Gaga! This was confirmed in the morning, when I asked my brother why my flash drive from the car with all my music on, is by the side of his computer?!

It's ok though. I slept on the sofa, and I checked myself for bite marks in the morning. Nothing!