When I was living at home with my parents, my Dad would often point out little things that I did. Little things that in his eyes were quite simply wrong. Watching me drink from a cup or mug would drive him nuts because I would hold it around the base, instead of by the handle.
"Hours of design and research, love and attention have gone into designing the handle on that mug!" he would say.
This would be followed by an explanation of how they probably designed many prototypes; varying in shape, size and comfort. Not to mention repeated tests to ensure the handle didn't conduct too much heat from the hot drink and become uncomfortable to hold. It used to nark him that I would (in his eyes) dismiss such important things.
Drinking with a spoon in the mug, not wearing a belt with ill fitting jeans, carrying bags by scrunching the top between my fingers instead of using the handles, changing the way my trainers were laced up, strapping my watch to my clothing instead of wearing it on my wrist, sitting on chairs the wrong way around, using a knife instead of a screwdriver, pressing Record on the VCR anytime within an hour of a programme starting instead of using the 'timer control', putting tea-bags into each cup instead of using the tea-pot.... And the list would go on. And so would the Fatherly lectures.
For many years, I had it drilled into me that when it came down to practical things....'doing things'....my Dad was always right. In everything. I don't think I've ever heard him say that he was wrong. It's not necessarily a bad thing to have a parent that's 'always right' when it comes to practical things, but it does grind you down over the years.
For the last few weeks, I've been consciously opening crisp packets upside-down. No doubt my Dad would lecture me on this too. Something along the lines of, "A lot of care and attention has gone into designing these packs to make them relatively easy to open the correct way up. The seal has just enough strength to ensure nothing gets in or out of the pack and yet it's not too difficult to pull the sides apart, thus creating an opening. The bottom of the pack isn't designed to be opened. It's designed with more strength to ensure less splitting..." Blah, blah, bollocks.
Anyway....opening the packs up arse end first makes no difference what-so-ever. The crisps taste the same and the world still keeps on turning.
It's just nice to be a little different sometimes.
9 parlez:
I used to get the tea bag nagging, and the correct way to fold towels.
Annoyingly I find myself automatically folding towels correctly and redoing ones if they're wrong - even in other people's houses.
(In half first across the short sides i.e making a long narrow towel, then in half lengthways and lengthways again, seams inwards.)
Apparently the world shifts on its axis if this isn't precisely observed.
I'm just waiting to get punched by an angry housewife.
My mum's grinding-down fave was "I don't know why you make such a fuss - no one's interested in you, you know." Sweet eh?
I dread to think what my two will say about me. I am always right too. Who'd have thought?
duck,
You re-fold towels in other people's houses if they're folded wrong?! Erm....duck, you really need to get out more! Oh, actually....perhaps you shouldn't be let out at all!
spiralskies,
Of course parents are always right. Without that, where would all the angsty teenage years feed from?
god, this is just the kind of confession that would make me fall in love with a guy.
Hmmm, I've never been able to fold towels neatly, so I'll be trying that one tonight ... thanks duck!
I think your dad and mine are related.
I eat Kit-Kat's "subversively". Instead of snapping off the fingers and eating them individually, I bite across the whole thing. I bet that would have annoyed your dad too.
(sorry, just noticed I put a spurious apostrophe in "Kit-Kats" - I am filled with shame...)
I do a nice line in turning toilet rolls round the right way as well.
Mmm. Yes, I should stay in more.
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