Wednesday, October 17

We can get down like there's no one around. We'll keep on rockin'.

I appear to have chosen a line of work where the double entendres seem never ending:

"Hello, I understand you have a leaky pipe?"

"Yeah, your pipes aren't big enough to cope with it."

"The problem here is the flange."

"Ooh, it's gonna be tight getting it all to fit inside there, but I'll give it a go."

"It's just a dribble. I can sort that out by making it a tighter fit."

"You do realise that's not big enough to take a full dump, don't you?"

"Hi, I've been sent to check out your pipes."

"I'm gonna need to change your nuts. They don't seem to be doing their job properly."

"I would recommend flushing your system out"

"Your nipples probably need bleeding"

"Your hose is causing the problems."

"That cock is dribbling. It needs looking at right away before your problems get any worse."

"Some lubricant might help."

"Has somebody been messing with your pipes?"

6 parlez:

Jo said...

I had a hilarious exchange with the guy I was working with last week: I was under the kitchen sink holding the trap and he was outside poking the waste pipe through a hole in the wall.

Him 'Am I in? I can't tell'
Me 'No, up a bit! Left a bit! Yes! Now push!'
Him 'Still a bit long. I'll need to cut a couple of inches off the end.'
Me 'Right, you can take it out now'.

We were in hysterics by the end, as was the customer and her 10 year old son.

Cat said...

It always makes me laugh when weather people talk about " a burst of rain"...

On a similar vein, we used to have a service for old people here called (I kid you not) Dial a Ride. It was mentioned in a meeting once, and my colleague Will and I were practically on the floor. No-one else clicked what we were laughing at. It has now been changed to Dial a Bus, funnily enough.

Cat said...

Oh, and I love it when sports commentators talk about "beating off the competition".

Little things.

John said...

What are you, some kind of sick doctor?

Complex Girl said...

Ah, the double entendre!! Happy days.

I fear I may have been raised on far too many Carry On films!

bedshaped said...

jo,
It's true, it can be difficult to keep a straight face, huh?

cat,
I'm thinking the 'dial a ride' service proved a lot more popular before they changed the name.

john,
Not a sick doctor, no. A pipe doctor, of sorts.

complex girl,
Is there such a thing as too many Carry On films? I think not.