It ain't me, ooh it's gotta be you.

I'm currently faced with a barrage of bills.

As I am still within my first 12 months of owning my own place, this is all still new to me. I am however, already coming to the conclusion that Companies strategically talk amongst themselves to decide when the most (in)appropriate time will be to send all their bills together.

In front of me, I currently have bills for Gas, Electric, Water rates, Council Tax (spit), and 2 credit cards.
Most, if not all of them state, quite clearly, that the best way to pay is by direct debit. That suits me fine because I'd rather have a case of 'little and often' rather than 'all in one go'.

In this day and age of technology, the internet, the web et al...all of them bragg that the 'easiest' way to set up such a direct debit is to go online to the subsequent website, fill in the appropriate details, hit the 'send' button and Bob's literally your Uncle.
I have however, hit a problem and I'm thinking more and more that it's something that they've planned to make this 'easy way to pay' as difficult as possible.

The first problem I have is filling in the full address of my Bank. Maybe this doesn't sound so difficult, but every statement I have just lists a PO Box in Glasgow and even though I've been to Scotland, I can't ever remember ever opening up a Bank account up there.
I Googled....I Asked Jeeves...Hell, I even tried some of the more *ahem* dubious search engines, to no avail.
It's come to an age where 'personal services' have been taken away from us.
I made the mistake of phoning my Bank a while ago, only to be connected with some foreign guy, who not only had difficulty speaking English, but couldn't understand the simple instruction of "I want to transfer some money please!"

After a phone call to my mum, who seems to be the all seeing, all knowing person to such an extreme that without even a single pause of breath, appeared to reel off the full address, including the postcode (She probably knows the Managers' name and date of birth) and I could continue to fill in the fields on the website form.
The next problem was the 'customer reference number'. This would be the number, as they state on the bill, that 'appears on the front of the bill'. These reference numbers always seem to consist of a few letters, then numbers, a few slashes here and there and on occasion, some dashes. The only problem being that the spaces on the sites for these reference numbers are only able to take about 10 digits. So what am I supposed to do with all the rest of the numbers, letters and slashes that make up the reference number?
There is, quite simply...no logic to which part of the number they want.

It's a fucking conspiracy!

No problem I'm thinking, because there's a phone number that I can call, also listed on the bill, if I get into trouble.
Lo and behold, I either get through to a foreign guy who can't understand that I want to set up a direct debit to pay my bill, or I'm faced with a string of automated responses where I'm supposed to press corresponding numbers on my keypad to get through to the correct person.

There's only so many times I can press the number for "And for all other enquiries, press 8" before I give up.

After attempting to set up 3 of my bills on direct debit, I find I am no further forward and will have to resort to filling out the attached form and using the good old reliable post system.

So much for technology, huh!