Sunday, October 25

This could be the saddest dusk I've ever seen. Turn to a miracle, high alive. My mind is racing, as it always will.

I have no idea where I'll be in five years' time.
Even in one years' time.
I just don't know.

But I do know that I wont be here anymore, living under my parent's roof, eating their Weetabix and sitting on their cushions.

I do look forward to the future, but I don't measure myself against what could or might be. The future is unknown, and in a way, the not knowing is the most exciting part about it. I guess that's why I've always found myself feeling more comfortable being bed-fellows with spontaneity than planning things out. And I know some people don't like that about me, but that's more their problem than mine.
I really, truly don't have a problem with myself.

I have three tattoos, my navel is pierced, I smoke grass occasionally, I live for music, my kids are my life, and....well, that's about it.
It doesn't matter at all where I live, what I do for a job, what car I drive, what my garden looks like, what state my bank account is in or how much sleep I get.
I think when you've experienced a certain amount of what life has to offer, you find yourself more at peace with yourself. And you can forgive your mistakes, misguidance's and stupid decisions.
Everything about life is a learning curve.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being scared. You just have to grow beyond it.
Grow beyond it.

" My hands tired, my heart aches. I'm half a world away and go."

4 parlez:

Duck said...

Do you ever get the feeling that your life is just happening on the pitch, while you sit in the stands, watching it evolve like an third party observer?

I don't plan my life and often feel that I don't have much control over it either.

I do wonder sometimes if I shouldn't get off the sidelines and actually live it in the first person.

gekkogirl said...

I do think about my future a lot but I am getting better at balancing out my hopes and wishes with what is real and tangible in the right now.

I like weetabox, esp with a little hot milk to soften it up.

Cat said...

I'm so with you on the not knowing, and I'm getting tired of it. I'd really like to be a bit more certain.

bedshaped said...

Living it in the first person is the answer, I'm sure.

Noooo, not hot milk. It must be ice cold. And be left to soak away into the Weetabix for a relatively short period of time. When they are 'mush', then, and only then can they be eaten. Bliss!

cat, But would you consider being able to see your real future? Seriously?
The unknown is the best. You can't beat 'that' feeling!