Tuesday, February 10

I don't know much, but I know this for certain. And that is the sun poking its head round the curtain.

I seem to be feeling a little better, although I'm still far from feeling one hundred percent.
And I find it ironic that I use that a measure considering I can't even remember the last time I felt anywhere near one hundred percent.
I managed to gain some control over my breathing, assisted by an inhaler, only to find myself suffering with terrible stomach pains and a full and unhealthy relationship with the words 'shit', 'eye' and 'needle'.
Still, it could be worse.

I'm desperately scratching around for work. Have been for weeks now. In the quiet times I made the mistake of searching through websites; reading up about plumbing, construction, recession effects, training and other things that have been a large focus of my life for the past few years. A mistake because I've been left feeling like I've made a huge error. I can see it now. I can see all the info that I should have taken on board way back when I was thinking about ditching out of the rat-race. Left wondering why, why, why didn't I see this coming.
And I still feel like I'm a burden, not a boyfriend.

Of all the times a small person can come into the room, it just has to be when the song "Fuck You" comes on, huh? Nice one Lily!

So....on a scale of one to ten, how happy are you, seriously?

2 parlez:

Anonymous said...

Hi Bedshaped,

I've been reading your blog for about two years, I think. Found it when I was checking up something about Keane. I just wanted to say that if you had not chosen to do what you did and left the rat race, you would always have wondered and dreamt of doing so and been unsatisfied with your life. Please don't think of what you did as a mistake, think of it more as a learning. Don't dwell on the past choices, think more about what you are going to do to make your life good. Anyway I hear the car selling industary isn't doing to well either...

bedshaped said...

Hello anon,
Just thanks really. Thanks for reading.