Wednesday, April 23

The whole town's slipping down a hill, like the spine of something dead.

A day in the life with three Estate Agents.

The first guy I liked. He was down to earth, didn't use any lingo and ran through the pros and cons of using his agency to market the house. I thought he was honest and upfront with me, which is a refreshing change to how most Estate Agents are perceived. And he actually gave me the impression that he wants to sell my house. Cool. Oh and he likes Elbow. Double bonus for him. I almost felt like getting the bong out!

The second guy was a cock. He kept calling me mate and reminding me about his twenty years 'in the game'. When I asked him to explain how he would market a property, he replied that mail outs would be sent advertising a 'new instruction', adverts would be in the local paper for 2 weeks and every 4 weeks after that, and....well, that's all he said. I didn't question him anymore on it, it just gave me the impression that they give you a couple of weeks push for a sale, then give up on it. Great.

The third guy appeared to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown, reminding me of Gil from The Simpsons. He did the usual tour of the house, asking questions. Then, I went to ask him about the market, to which he replied that it was in a slump and had been for a good six months or so. He continued, telling me how much slower their business has been and that it's very difficult 'makes ends meet'. I actually started to feel sorry for the guy. There he was, sat telling me how desperate his Agency is for business and I actually started to feel sad. My melancholy feeling didn't last for long though. He asked me what I thought of the price he presumably just picked out of the air; a whopping 20 grand higher than either of the other two guys' valuations.
No wonder he's finding it difficult to find business if he values his houses like that. I just didn't get the whole 'oh woe is me, sales are slow, the market is in a ditch..." and then such a high value on the house?!
Surely, get the valuations right, so you not only get the houses to market, but also the sale.
"Hello! McFly!"
Unless of course, he didn't think he could sell the house for one reason or another. Maybe he purposely over-valued the house, thinking I'd never go with him. The sneaky fucker! Well, maybe I will go with him after all.

....and that HIPS pack is a fucking rip off!

5 parlez:

switch said...

Hey I've heard there's some Catholic(?)myth/voodoo about burying a little saint statue upside down in your yard that makes the whirly winds of real estate point in your direction...sorry I don't have the details of who and how, but I suppose you could Google it.

chin up.

beth said...

Your third guy sounds a bit like the bloke who showed us around some houses when we were looking to buy (all of 3 months ago). He didn't have any of the details of any of the houses he was showing us and seemed to think it was adequate to say 'you can pick them up at the office'; he had to ask the vendor what the house was on the market for and then he spent five minutes telling us how bad the traffic was and how it was impossible trying to drive anywhere in town, especially on a Saturday...

Go with the Elbow chap, surely it must be a sign?

Oh, and you're damn right about the rip off that is HIPs (and I've been on a course about them!)

treacle said...

Sounds stressful, but fingers and toes are crossed for you. x

Jon said...

Ha ha, I just have an image of you and the estate agent getting stoned :)

Anonymous said...

Almost makes me glad I'm poor and in a dead-end career with no hope of ever buying or selling actual real estate.

On second thought...No.


Best of luck & I'll keep fingers crossed, too!